Child's Play
by Yargy the Pirate Queen
Summary: A Kadaj hater recieves a Kadaj action figure from her two friends. Things get crazy when they discover that the action figure is not a mere action figure. Can the girls survive what the life stream has to dish out?
1. Of Dolls And Friends

**Hey yall! Im here with another story! I know I know! GET ON WITH THE FB ONE ALREADY! I will I will don't worry! Sometimes it just helps me to start a new story when im stuck on another. So yea about this story. This is gonna be such a messed up story! I kid u not! This is what comes out of my brain when im sitting with a bunch of anime crazed friends at 1:30 in the morning. So anyways…ONWARD!**

**Chapter 1: Of Dolls and Friends**

"Why did you do that!" KT screeched at Megan and Jackie. KT was ready to tear out their throats. She hated when her two best friends plotted against her like this. This had to be the worst of them all. Standing before KT on her Kitchen table, was a Kadaj action figure. Megan and Jackie high-fived. KT had a burning hatred for Kadaj. Ever since she saw him in the movie Advent Children, she hoped that he burned in hell for eternity.

"We got you your fanboy!" Megan cheered. A vein grew on KT's temple.

"I'm gonna burn him into a pile of ashes!"

"Oh no you're not! We split the cost of him so………no!" Jackie said whisking away some of her strawberry blond hair away from her face.

"Then its wasted money!" KT said lunging for the doll. Megan snatched up Kadaj and held him above her head. KT tried to get him but Megan's arm was bit longer than KT's reach.

"Dammit you guys suck! I don't understand how you can like someone like him!" KT complained finally giving up.

"He's hott!" Megan explained.

"And he makes us laugh!" Jackie added.

"You guys are outside the circle of trust!" KT said staring daggers at the doll.

"You have to put him next to Cloud and put him on your nightstand while you sleep." Jackie explained. KT was thunderstruck.

"WHAT!" KT screamed.

"Do it this once and then we will take him off your hands." Jackie said. Megan nodded in agreement. KT was silent as she thought it over. KT looked at the doll Megan was holding.

'_Oh that doll is gonna be history by morning.'_ Kt thought. How she loathed him! His silver hair, his creepy eyes, his obsession with mother, his emoness…..GAH she couldn't stand him!

"Fine! But don't think that I will enjoy it." KT said balling her fists.

"Yay!" Jackie said before glomping KT.

"Squee!" Megan said. She then moved Kadaj's arms so that they were above his head.

"Squee!" the Kadaj said. KT glared at him and at his evil puppeteer.

"I despise all of you!" She said. Jackie smiled.

"So what do you guys want to do?" KT asked trying to forget about the demon dall.

"Lets play video games!" Jackie said brightly.

KT and Jackie pushed buttons feverishly. They were in the middle of playing some fighting game that didn't interest Megan. Instead, Megan was making Kadaj fly around the house like Superman. Megan had deemed herself permanent babysitter of Kadaj. KT didn't care as long as the doll was at least 2 feet away from her. A half an hour passed and Jackie finally spoke up.

"We'll be back in a few minutes." Jackie said. Jackie and Megan both had to run home to grab some things for sleeping over at KT's. Megan put Kadaj on the table.

"Why don't you guys get to know each other? You know? Some quality bonding time?" Megan joked as she walked out the door.

"I would rather go a week without anime than bond with Kadaj!" KT yelled at Megan as she drove away.

The house was silent now. KT returned to the kitchen to find something to eat. The Kadaj doll remained on the table and stared at KT.

"Stop staring at me you psycho!" KT growled hopeing that the doll would somehow understand. Megan arrived 15 minutes later.

"So are you guys like the bestest of friends now?" She asked. Megan sidestepped a spoon that was thrown at her. Jackie arrived moments later and they all went downstairs to watch the 4th Inuyasha Movie (this was after 15 mins of fighting because they had left it up to Megan to decide. Megan is the most undecisive of the group. So basically, they had to beat it out of her so she would say something!), which KT and Megan loved to give their own commentaries on.

Soon it was about 1:15 a.m. and everyone, including Kadaj, filed into KT's room to get some sleep. It took them awhile to get situated. Finally, to put the cherry on the cake, Kadaj was placed next to KT's Cloud figurine. KT was horrified that her precious Cloud had to breathe the same air as Kadaj. After turning her back on the doll, she finally drifted into sleep and had a dream which involved her strangling Kadaj.

**Woo first chapter! Sorry that it was pitifully short and if it was boring! The rest wont be! Im serious this gonna be the kind of story where you are gonna ask what drugs I was on when I wrote this. I have a bunch of stuff planned out! Prepare to be shocked! And yes my friend KT really does hate Kadaj this much. Though Jackie has not found a Kadaj doll yet…………..well find one!**


	2. Of Brothers and Bahamut

**Ok here comes the good stuff!**

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**Chapter 2: Of Brothers and Bahamut**

KT woke up to whispering. She slowly opened her eyes and rubbed her eye boogers out. She drowsily looked around trying to locate the annoying sound. It stopped moments later.

'Probably just Megan talking in her sleep.' She thought. She closed her eyes hoping to go back to sleep. As soon as she was about to drift off, the whispering started up again. KT groaned.

"What the hell is Megan dreaming about?" KT asked aloud. She reached her arm over to her nightstand for her glasses. She found them, put them on, and sat up to look at the whispering Megan. Except that she wasn't whispering. KT furrowed her brow. The whispering continued so KT looked to Jackie. Jackie wasn't whispering either. KT was thoroughly confused. She looked around the room trying to locate the noise. When her eyes fell upon the nightstand, she stared, unblinking, at it.

"WTF!" she said quietly as her eyes boggled as she looked at Kadaj. Or rather, where he used to be. All that was left was his little stand. The doll was now trying to manhandle a piece of paper more than twice its size. Without the help of a puppeteer!

KT stared in shock as Kadaj whispered something about who knows what, then noticed KT staring at him. He threw the paper to the floor and gracefully walked to the edge of the nightstand. He stared at KT for a few moments before finally asking

"Where is Mother?" KT blinked. Kadaj grew impatient.

"Where is Mother? I know she's here!" he asked. More like demanded the answer. KT put Kadaj on hold as she whipped a pillow at Megan's head.

"Stop with the cupcakes!" Megan yelped as she shot up. Jackie woke up moments later.

"Will you guys pipe down?"

"Why did you have to get me the possessed doll!" KT yelled. Megan and Jackie looked at her like she grew another head.

"I'll only ask one more time. Where is Mother?" Kadaj said taking out his double bladed Katana (**A/N: Does anyone know what his weapon is called**?)

"KT how are you able to throw your voice like that? And how are you doing that without moving your hands?" Megan asked still blinking sleep from her eyes. KT mentally slapped her forehead. Sometimes, Megan really was slow. Jackie, however, was more on top of things. She crawled closer until she was right in front of the nightstand. She gazed at Kadaj and Kadaj glared back.

"What do you want?" he snapped. Jackie didn't answer but stuck out a finger and poked him in the side. Kadaj stumbled to the side by the force and then proceeded in slashing at Jackie's finger. Jackie snapped her finger back and looked at it.

"Oww!" Jackie moaned looking at her finger. It had a nice new welt on it. She then smirked.

"It seems your sword is defective if it couldn't even cut my finger." She said. Kadaj's face darkened.

"Oh yeah? Lets see how defective it is now!" He said getting a blue glow to swirl around him. He then swung at a a nearby mechanical pencil. It now lay in two pieces. He then jumped off the nightsand and came after Jackie. Jackie quickly stood up and ran to hide. She ran out of the room and locked herself in the bathroom. Kadaj was left outside, jumping up to try to reach the door knob. KT and Megan hadn't moved.

"That was my favorite pencil." KT finally said. Megan got up and peered at the bathroom door. Kadaj was attacking the door without mercy as he tried to cut himself a little hole. Needless to say, it wasn't working. Being only about 1ft tall, you don't pack much of a punch. Kadaj finally gave up and stomped back into KT's room.

"Outta my way." He growled at Megan as he passed her. Megan raised a brow as he sat himself down in a corner with his back to them. Was he….sulking? Jackie came back in, armed with the toilet plunger. She didn't say anything when she noticed that Kadaj wasn't threatening at this point in time.

The girls then began to discuss how this could've happened. Megan was convinced that her idea was the most logical. These were her exact words.

"The aliens came! The sucked him right off his bike and transformed him into a doll for their alien children's' amusement. But the kids didn't like him so they threw him out the window. The doll then plummeted to earth and landed safely packed in a box and ready to be sold." She explained. Crickets. More crickets.

"That's not how it happened!" Kadaj yelled throwing a material the size of a plastic bead at Megan's head.

"Then how did it happen?" KT asked. She couldn't believe that she was about to listen to what Kadaj had to say.

"I don't know! Now where's mother!"

"Well you're no help." Jackie groaned. KT sighed and picked up her Cloud figurine and began to shake him violently.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU COME TO LIFE INSTEAD OF THIS ABOMINATION!" KT yelled. Kadaj was deeply offended.

"You only wish you could be part of my perfect race!" he yelled at her. KT was left sputtering in anger.

"Now where is Mother!" he yelled. Megan was getting annoyed. She always hated it when he talked about mother. Suddenly, Kadaj caught sight of Cloud in KT's hands.

"Is that big brother? The damn traitor! Let me kill him!" he yelled scampering up the bed spread. He reached the top and slowly began to walk towards KT, his eyes on Cloud.

'_OMG! He might touch Cloud! Cloud would be soiled! Tainted!'_ KT thought.

"No you can't! KT almost lives and breaths Cloud." Jackie said laughing as she watched KT scramble off the bed.

"You cannot hide." Kadaj warned.

"The hell I can't!" KT yelped as she quickly opened the closet and set Cloud on the highest shelf. She then made sure he was safe and shut the doors.

"HA!" KT yelled facing Kadaj.

"Is that where you're hiding Mother as well? I will get them soon enough." Kadaj smirked.

"We don't know where your stupid mommy-in-a-box is! And how are u gonna reach Cloud? The last time I checked, you couldn't even reach the doorknob!" Megan yelled, finally snapping. Kadaj was slightly taken back.

"You will now die!" Kadaj said taking out his blade.

"With that worthless blade? I'd like to see you try." Megan said crossing her arms. Kadaj got the familiar blue glow. Megan eeped just as the doorbell rang. KT got up to answer it. But she was stopped.

"Oh who could that be? Better not keep them waiting!" Mean said scampering up the stairs to get the door. Kadaj had steam coming out of his ears as he stomped after Megan.

Megan opened the door. No one was there.

"Hello?" she asked looking around.

"Keep still!" said a voice. Megan looked down. She couldn't believe what she saw. It was the rest of the silver haired men! They had created a mini ladder to reach the doorbell. Loz was on the bottom. Yazoo was sitting on Loz's shoulders. And to top it off, Sephiroth was stacked on top of Yazoo's shoulders. The got off of each other as Megan crouched down to look at them. All were about 1ft tall. Apparently, they had all suffered the same fate as Kadaj. The aliens came.

"Brothers!" Kadaj said appearing behind Megan.

"Move woman!" Kadaj growled stabbing Megan in the side. She yelped and quickly moved.

"Who is it?" KT yelled. Megan didn't answer.

"This woman and her comrades are hiding Mother." Kadaj said.

"Where is Mother?" Yazoo asked as he flicked some of his hair away from his face.

"I don't have your damn mommy-in-a-box!" Megan said. Megan heard a sniffle. She located it. It was Loz and he was crying. Oh how Megan wanted to step on him.

'_No one will miss him!_' she thought angrily. She HATED when he cried.

"How dare you refer to Mother that way." Yazoo said.

"She's also hiding big brother." Kadaj added. Sephiroth took out his normally would be 7ft sword. It had now been demoted to an 1 ½ sword. (**A/N: Whats his swords name? And just to save myself time, what are Yazoo's and Loz's? I don't know jack squat on Final Fantasy. Only what ive seen in Advent Children sweatdrop).**

"Kill her." Sephiroth said in his deadly calm voice. Megan stared at the scariest man she had ever seen. Well now I guess he was a doll? Maybe an evil chibi? Anyways. Yazoo took out his gunblade, while Loz took out his electrifying thing. Megan yelped, ran downstairs and hid behind KT, who was still guarding her closet.

"Who was it?" KT asked.

"They're after me!" Megan whispered as she watched as Sephiroth, Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz sauntered into the room

"WTF! Where did you come from!" KT yelped.

"Silence! Prepare to die!" Sephiroth said.

"Is your name Inigo Montoya? Did we kill your father? Are you from Princess Bride?" Megan giggled. Jackie and KT looked ready to smack her. Sephiroth sung his sword around, trying to look dangerous. And he was doing a good job too, even if he was only able to reach the middle of the girls' shins.

"Be gone demon doll!" Jackie yelled from the bed while chucking a pillow at the silver haired men.

It successfully flattened Loz. Yazoo then began firing as Kadaj swiped at Megan and Kt's ankles. KT ducked as Sephiroth came flying at her, but still, he managed to chop off a lock of her hair. Jackie, meanwhile, was huddling under the blankets. Suddenly, a scratching sound caught her attention. It sounded like it was coming from the closet. Jackie poked her head out from under the covers. She looked down near the floor and saw something silver darting in and out of the door. Jackie looked closer. It looked like a sword.

'_Does that mean…….?_' Jackie thought. The closet door suddenly burst open.

"Leave them alone Sephiroth. Your opponent is me." The figure said. Megan and KT turned to see Cloud striding across the floor. He wove in between Megan and KT's legs to face Sephiroth.

"Nice to see you again Cloud. Have you come to atone for your sins?" Sephiroth smirked.

"No. Just to battle you." Cloud said taking out his 6-weapons-in 1 sword and charging at Sephiroth. Suddenly, both Sephiroth and Cloud were hefted up into the air by their swords. By Kt.

"No fighting in my house. No killing because I don't want blood all over my white carpet….I like my carpet the way it is!" She said. Sephiroth let go of his sword and floated to the ground. He then proceeded to stamp on KT's toes. KT just watched as Sephiroth took his anger out on her toes. She never thought that she would see Sephiroth do something so……kawaii! She just wanted to pick him up and squeeze him! But she resisted. KT then set Cloud on the bed. He and Sephiroth glared at each other.

Jackie crawled out from under the covers and crawled over to lift the pillow off of Loz. He was sprawled out and swirly eyed.

"Step away from brother." Yazoo said firing a few rounds, the bullets the size of a gnat, at Jackie. Whatever previous strength the gunblade had before, didn't exist now. It could only seem to cause large, painful welts now. Jackie yelled as one hit her in the forehead. Jackie shrunk back.

"Lets see how well you deal with this!" Kadaj said sadistically while extending hi hand up to the sky. In this case, the ceiling. Strange grey clouds started to appear out of nowhere. The silver haired men all began to smirk like the little demons that they were. Just then, a large shape began to form infused with the magical power of the life stream. Which had also seemed to magically appear. Bahamut then appeared from the clouds.

It was about the size of a basketball. Maybe a little bigger. Kadaj began to cackle maniacally. The girls watched as the hovering….thing….began to charge up an energy ball. Cloud began to swing his sword at it like a mad man. But it didn't seem to affect the thing as if fired the energy ball. KT ducked. It hit her astrology poster that she had hanging on the wall behind her bed and promptly set it ablaze.

"Hey!" KT yelped as the ashes fluttered onto her bed.

"Split up and run." Cloud said. He left no room to argue. When Cloud tells you to do something, you do it! The girls nodded their heads quickly and rushed out of KTs room.

"Don't let them escape." Sephiroth said calmly as he approached Cloud, sword at the ready.

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**How was that? Was it better? Keep in mind that I don't know jack squat on Final Fantasy except for what ive seen in advent children so im doing the best I can. KTs also helping me. Ive got almost the whole thing planned out. Here are some funny things that the spell check says:**

**Kadaj: Kodak**

**Sephiroth: Spirit**

**Loz: Liz**

**Bahamut: Bahamas**


	3. Of Dastardly Deeds

**I just got my ear pierced in the cartilage! Im proud of it. Thanks to all of those who provided me with the names of the weapons. You guys rock my sox. Ok anyways onward!**

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**Chapter 3: Of Dastardly Deeds**

Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz quickly bounded up the stairs.

"Split up! They couldn't have gone far." Kadaj said. His brothers nodded and began to scamper off to various places. The Bahamut wasn't really sure of who or what it was supposed to destroy, so it kind of flew around and singed various objects. The couch now had a few burned spots. The TV was able to withstand it, it just looked like it had black soot all over it.

Jackie was the first to be found. She was found huddled under the kitchen table by Loz.

"Wanna play?" he smirked. He took out his Dual Hound and gave it a charge.

"Aaaahh! Get away from me you psycho freak!" Jackie yelped as she tried swatting Loz away. Loz was ready and shocked her.

'Today is not my day!' Jackie thought as she rubbed her hand. All the shock had done was tickle her. She held in a giggle.

"You fail." Jackie said. Loz shocked her again in the side. This made Jackie react violently as she was very ticklish, and smacked Loz into a nearby table leg, unconscious. Jackie got over her fit of laughter and crawled out from under the table. She forgot stupid Bahamut. She came face to face with it and it….roared? But it began to power up an energy ball.

"Fuck!" Jackie exclaimed.

KT had hidden herself well. She had somehow shimmied her way under the car in the garage. She could hear one of the stupid dolls running around outside near the door accompanied by popping sounds.

"Sounds like Yazoo…damn." KT whispered to herself. "I should be safe for now. I mean, the doors are closed."

"Safe from who?" A sadistic voice said. Yazoo stood there with his Velvet Nightmare pointing at her face.

"Preferably you." KT said trying to shimmy out from under the car. She made a dash for the door but found that it was locked! The big door was also closed and she didn't have her garage opener! She also didn't have her key for the smaller door.

"About the key that you're looking for…I took the liberty of melting it." He said.

"You did WHAT!"

"Melted it. Prepare to die!" Yazoo said cocking his gunblade.

"How did you get in here? And how can I prepare to die?" KT asked trying to distance herself from Yazoo.

"I have my ways. There's no use running." Yazoo explained to KT, who was looking around frantically for means of escape. KT's eyes finally stopped on a bucket. She quickly grabbed it and dumped out whatever contents were in it.

"What are you gonna do with that?" Yazoo chuckled. KT looked at him and held the bucket upside down. Yazoo caught on.

"Take one more step. And I'll lodge a bullet in your brain." He said taking aim. KT took a step and Yazoo opened fire. KT blocked as many bullets as she could with the bucket as she closed in on Yazoo. Yazoo did not back down and fired even more rounds. KT then tried putting the bucket on top of him. When she would almost catch him, he would suddenly run away.

'Damn its like trying to catch an evil hamster!' KT thought angrily. Suddenly a bullet hit her glasses and she backed off for a moment. She took off her glasses to examine them. There was a small crack in the upper left hand corner of the left lens. KT got pissed.

"Now you die! Do you know how much those cost!" she thundered. Yazoo showed no signs of fear as he stood his ground. He flicked his hair to taunt KT. KT grabbed the bucket again with new found determination.

After about 5 minutes of scuffling around the garage, KT had finally trapped Yazoo under the bucket. She secured his location by putting a large block of wood on top. Deciding to take advantage of her current victory, she threw her hands in the air and began to laugh like a flippin loony.

"Bwahahahahhahaha!" she laughed and proceeded to do a happy dance. However, she stopped when she caught the smell of burning plastic. She glanced at the bucket. There

was a small burn hole that was growing in size every second. She could see Yazoo's face and he looked PISSED!

"No fair! How are you able to do that!" KT yelled pointing at him.

"With material stupid!" (A/N: Don't know if u can burn things with material but now u can!) he yelled back as he stepped through the hole.

"God dammit this sucks!" KT groaned. Now lets go see how Megan is faring.

Megan sat huddled by the tire of her car outside. She hadn't been found yet and for that, she was very grateful.

"God this is soo crazy! Its like a twisted game of hide and seek. Except if you're found, you get killed. Though I highly doubt that a 6 inch man could kill me." Megan whispered to herself. Megan had this horrible habit of talking out loud to herself when she was nervous or anxious. And for that reason, Megan didn't even notice that Kadaj was sitting on the roof of the car, watching her make stupid facial expressions as she talked to herself. Finally Kadaj decided to speak up.

"Heeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee's Kadaj!" he said standing up and throwing his arms up. Megan snapped her head around to look at Kadaj. He grinned sadistically as he took out his Souba. Megan eeped and scrambled around the car. Kadaj calmly followed. Megan ran into the yard and began to search for a weapon. She found a bunch of rocks and picked them up. She then turned to face Kadaj.

"Stop following me you stalker!" She yelled. Kadaj kept walking towards her.

"Stop! I don't want to hurt you…but I will! I will crush you like…A BUG! HIYA!" Megan yelled as she began to throw rocks. Kadaj dodged everyone with grace.

"Stop! Where is the love! I'm pro-world peace!" Megan yelled, now throwing grass at him. The grass was less then effective obviously.

"Stop your babbling woman!" Kadaj said now charging at her.

"Aaaahhh! Women and children first!" She screamed as she jumped over him and ran to the nearest tree and quickly scaled it.

"Ha HA! What are you gonna do now punk?" Megan yelled down at Kadaj as he stared up at her, incapable of climbing the tree.

"Why must you make this so difficult?" Kadaj sighed as he rubbed his temple.

"Because you're a meanie!" Megan answered.

"Am I? Hahahahahahahahahaha!" Kadaj laughed maniacally. Megan was officially freaked out now.

Megan tried to get into a more comfortable position as he foot had fallen asleep as she had been up there for quite some time. Kadaj was trying to whistle with a blade of grass he was so bored. Suddenly Megan lost her footing (big surprise there). She tried to regain her foot hold, but lets face it it's Megan, and she was sent tumbling out of the tree. She rubbed her butt from where she fell.

"My how the tables have turned." Kadaj grinned as he walked up to her. Megan began to inch back.

"Say goodbye." Kadaj yelled charging at her face. Megan didn't know what else to do so she quickly covered her eyes.

"And say hello to me!" a new voice said as there was a loud clang. Megan peered through her fingers and saw a shock of spiky red hair. Megan recognized him immediately.

"Reno!" she yelped.

"Nice to meet you too!" he grunted as he forced Kadaj back. Megan gazed at him in wonder.

' How on earth did he get here? Where are they all coming from?' she wondered. Reno and Kadaj fought for a while. Kadaj swung Souba while Reno swung his terrifying stick of doom, whose name is not important enough to remember. Megan wasn't sure if she should be doing something or not.

"Should I be doing something?" she asked Reno.

"Just relax and enjoy the show." He said as he ducked under Souba.

'I don't have any popcorn though. Oh yea relax he says. Ladies Man!" Megan though rolling her eyes.

Megan idely looked around as the men in front of her exchanged blows. Her eyes fell onto the hose. Megan thought for a moment. Her lips curled into an evil grin. She quickly ran and turned the hose on. She kinked it and walked fairly close to Kadaj. She then placed her thumb over the opening and positioned it so it would give her the most spraying power.

"Hey Kadaj…" Kadaj turned to look "think fast!" Megan said releasing the kink. Kadaj was instantly floored by the jet of water. Reno watched as Kadaj gargled and tried to escape the torrent of water. Reno then looked over at Megan and gave her a thumbs up. Let's go back to KT now shall we?

KT was running circles around Yazoo.

'Maybe I can dizzy him to death!' KT thought. She hadn't noticed that Yazoo had stopped firing ages ago. Now he was just standing there, examining his nail cuticles. KT ran around him until she was out of breath.

"Are you done yet?" He asked.

"Yes…." KT panted.

"Good." Yazoo said charging.

"Aaahhh! Get away! Back you terrible fiend back!" KT yelled. KT backed against the wall.

"Dammit!" KT said closing her eyes. A shot was fired but no pain came. A scuffle was heard. KT opened her eye a crack. Yazoo was preoccupied with something. KT fully opened her eyes to see a billowy cape of doom. And it was red. Yes…it was our favorite gun toting, vampire look-a-like, Vincent. Vincent seemed to ignore KT as he battled Yazoo. Eventually, KT would have never thought of saying this, got bored watching them. Realization suddenly dawned on her. She slapped her forehead. She had just remembered that she had a spare key in the garage. Now all she had to do was find it.

As the two gunners fought with each other, KT calmly searched for the key. Of course, she couldn't keep her fangirl-ism away.

'Vincent saved me! SQUEE!' she thought. She finally found the key and quickly forced it into the lock. It took her several tries to finally open it. When she had the door open, before stepping out, she looked back.

'Should I leave them here? They don't have any supervision. Hmmm. Decisions, decisions.' She thought. Finally, she made up her mind. She ran in, plucked Vincent up by the back of his cape, and ran out, leaving Yazoo alone in the garage. KT booked it to the front yard, Vincent still dangling, where she heard a rather large ruckus.

"Damn bitch! Untie me!" Kadaj yelled. KT watched as Megan put the finishing touches on a double knot that was meant to keep Kadaj's arms from flailing about. KT then noticed that instead of Kadaj's hair being silver, it was brown. Kadaj was covered in mud from head to toe.

"Would you mind putting me down?" Vincent asked. KT obliged and gently set him down. Reno waved at Vincent and Vincent nodded back.

"You ok Trisha?"

"Si senorita." Megan replied.

"Hey Reno." KT greeted.

"Yo."

"What happened to Kadaj?" KT asked.

"He got into a fight with a mud monster. You gotta watch out for those mud monsters. Those are not to be trifled with…………….I got him with the hose." Megan replied picking Kadaj up. Kadaj tried to bite her hand.

"We should probably check on Jackie." KT said.

"And Cloud." Megan added.

"Cloud is here?" Vincent asked with no emotion.

"Yes. He's probably fine. It's Jackie I'm worried about." KT said walking up to her front door. The rest of the group slowly followed, Kadaj spewing death threats the whole way.

KT's jaw dropped when she entered her house. There were burnt things everywhere! Jackie was screeching somewhere in the kitchen. Megan and KT dashed up the stairs to see Jackie trying to fend off Bahamut with a kitchen chair and a spatula. She caught sight of the group.

"Don't just stand there help me!" She yelled, swatting at the beast.

"Well you heard the woman. I'm gonna go check on Cloud. " KT said turning and bolting down the stairs.

"What? But…!" Megan called. She put Kadaj down and looked at Reno. Reno looked at Megan. Megan looked at Vincent. Vincent looked at Megan. Vincent looked at Reno. Reno looked at Vincent. Vincent looked at Bahamut. Bahamut looked at Jackie. Jackie looked at Megan.

"Get your fuckin' ass over here!" Jackie growled.

"Right!" Megan said as she dove for a cupboard. She threw it open and took out the strainer and put it on her head.

"We're all gonna die, but at least I've got a helmet!" Megan said as she took out a wooden spoon.

"On guard!" she said facing Bahamut with her spoon. Bahamut turned to face her.

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaa!" she charged at it but stopped "Bother!" she said in a high voice as she poked it. Bahamut roared. Reno and Vincent then took action. Let's move back with KT.

KT slowly approached her room . The first thing she saw was little droplets of blood splattered on the carpet.

"Oh no!" KT groaned. Her room was a disaster. This was an anything goes fight apparently. This must have been why one of KT's stereo speakers was cleanly split in two.

"I hope they plan on coughing up some moolah for the damages." KT said aloud.

"It'll be fine." Cloud said from somewhere in the room. KT looked around and saw him sitting on the ledge near her bed trying to bandage his left arm.

"Where's Sephiroth?" KT asked.

"Outside somewhere."

"Is he dead?"

"Why?"

"Because I don't wanna see a 6 inch, hacked to bits body laying in the middle of my yard." KT said as she watched Cloud struggle with a band aid. I would be struggling too if the band aid was bigger than my head.

"I'll go and get you a smaller band aid." KT said walking to the bathroom.

She came back with the smallest band aid she had. Meanwhile, Cloud was having some issues. He kept getting stuck to the band aid. And currently, the band aid seemed pretty comfortable nestled in with his golden spikes.

"Do you need help?" KT asked. Cloud nodded his head after a moment of hesitation.

'_Hmm…how do I wanna do this? If I just pull, I'll probably rip his head off and we don't wanna do that.'_ KT pondered.

"I'll get it wet first and then we'll see if that works." KT explained as she grabbed a spray bottle full of water. She gently sprayed the band aid and tried to pry his hair loose. A tricky thing band aids. Finally, she got the band aid off. Not without taking a few golden hairs with it though.

"We should probably go help the others. Reno and Vincent are wondering where you are." KT said as Cloud applied the smaller band aid. Without saying a word, Cloud ran out of the room and up to the kitchen.

'_Crazy Emo.'_ KT sighed

Megan and Jackie were just having a jolly good old time. Megan was playing Whack-a-Bahamut with the kitchen broom while Jackie swung the rolling pin at it dangerously. They were the only two fighting. Loz and Kadaj had probably gone off to find Sephiroth and Yazoo. Reno was drinking a mini beer and Vincent was looking at the latest cell phone ads. Cloud took one look at the situation and jumped into battle. Bahamut was dead in half a second. After a moment of silence, where all you could hear was paper flipping and drink guzzling, Megan spoke up.

"Where's Sephiroth?"

"Who cares?" Reno said.

"Outside somewhere." KT replied.

"Probably gathering evil mole people for his evil army." Megan mused.

"I would soo love…to hurt you right now." KT groaned as she cracked her knuckles.

"If you do, remember to smile. Remember the healing words." Megan said with a totally cheesy smile.

"Oh piss on your mother!" Jackie said as she conked Megan in the head with her rolling pin.

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**That took flippin forever. It also doesn't help that my cat kept walking across the keyboard and licking my fingers. Unlike KT, I have an attack cat to protect me against mini antagonists. In this chapter, I made a few references to some youtube things. So here they are:**

"**Bother"- Harry Potter Puppets. Watch it its super awesome. Its not on youtube though. Just google it.**

"**Smile" "Piss on your mother" – The Healing Network or Healing Words. Its on youtube and its pretty awesome.**

**The story will only get crazier from here! Brace yourselves! **


	4. Of Fortresses

**OMG IM IN COLLEGE! I think im gonna die from overworkage. But I actually still have a lot of time to write at night. So hopefully I can keep it up! Stupid computer! It always puts the 'L' on the end of material! Why is the little line breaker not working? Anyways onward**

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**Chapter 4: Of Fortresses**

It had been over an hour and the silver haired men had not been seen.

"Where do you think they are?" KT asked as she twirled a piece of hair around her finger. Megan and Reno were playing intense games of tic-tac-toe while Jackie was texting away on her cell phone. Cloud and Vincent were off being emo and brooding in a dark corner somewhere.

"Do you think we should look for the SHM?" Megan asked looking up from her game.

"Leave them alone." Reno said as he drew an 'X' with a crayon.

"I would feel much better if I knew what they were up to." KT said getting up and getting her shoes on.

"Where are you going?" Reno asked.

"To find them." KT said with a tone that had you-are-a-effin-idiot-Reno written all over it. "You guys come with me."

"Why?" Jackie asked looking up from her phone.

"Because you're the only ones who can deal with Kadaj and the rest of the remnants." KT said. She than ran back up to the kitchen and grabbed a butter knife. Just incase Kadaj had to be stabbed.

"Should we tell Vincent and Cloud?" Jackie asked.

"They're fine. Let them cry in a dark corner." Megan said slipping on her flip-flops. Jackie laughed.

"I'm coming too. Wouldn't want you fine ladies to get hurt." Reno said grabbing his metal rod. KT rolled her eyes. With that, they stepped out the door.

Reno rode on Jackie's shoulder as they walked to the door of the garage. Nothing could be heard.

"This can't be good! I hope they're not out terrorizing little kids or causing felonies." KT said grabbing the doorknob. She gulped as she turned it slowly. When they got inside, they stared incredulously at the car. Kadaj, Yazoo, Loz, and Sephiroth had somehow turned the car into a fortress! There were gunner positions stationed on the mirrors and the antenna was bleeping and had a little red blinky light on top of it.

"Jeez what do they have in there? Sonar?" Jackie asked.

"OMG I WAS RIGHT! I TOLD YOU THAT THEY WERE RECRUITING MOLE PEOPLE!" Megan screeched as she pointed to the car. Jackie, KT, and Reno looked to where she pointed. KT stepped closer to inspect the tiny creature that was patrolling the roof of the trunk. She recognized it after a second.

'_Where on earth did they get that?'_

"Its just a moogle you spaz!" She yelled as she slapped Megan upside the head. Suddenly a shot ricocheted off the trunk. Yazoo's head could be seen from the left rear side window that was opened a crack.

"Step away from the moogle." He said cocking his Velvet Nightmare. It was then that Megan decided to mess with his head a bit.

"Hey! Wud up Yahoo!" she said giving him a peace sign.

"It's Yazoo."

"I know but Yahoo sounds cooler. Yahoo the yahoo. It has a nice ring to it. And it's even cooler because you have your own jingle!" She explained. She then broke into the Yahoo internet jingle. Yazoo didn't waste any time and began firing. The first shot hit Megan's nose, which promptly started to bleed. Basically, Megan was down for the count.

Jackie was then jolted in her ankle. She jumped away causing Reno to loose his balance and plummet to the asphalt. She looked down. Loz could be seen emerging from the exhaust pipe, extremely dirty.

"Wow Log! You got the short end of the stick if you have to hid in there." Megan said in a nasally voice as she held her nose.

"What did you call me?"

"Log."

"Hey!"

"Awww did she hurt your feelings?" Here, let me play the world's smallest violin." KT chuckled as she pretended to play. Loz didn't seem to get it. None of them noticed that Kadaj had appeared and was whispering something to the moogle.

"Hey! Girl with bloody nose!" Kadaj suddenly said, straitening up.

"Huh?"

"Think fast." He said as he signaled to the moogle. The moogle then launched itself through the air and attached itself to Megan's face.

"What the hell! Is it Pick On Megan Day!" Megan shrieked as the moogle stared her strait in the eye (the right one to be exact lol).

"Megan! It's a fricken moogle! It's the size of your thumb! What could it possibly do!" KT said with frustration. The moogle grabbed Megan's eyelid by the lashes, pulled it up away from her eye, and then let it go so it snapped down onto her eye.

"OW!" Megan yelped. Kadaj chuckled.

"What goes around comes around." He said as he watched Megan thrash about.

"Nobody move! I lost a contact lens!" Megan yelled as she finally plucking the moogle off by the wings and hurling it so it hit the taillight.

"KUPO!" it went as it fluttered to the ground. How could something so cute be so evil? The world may never know.

"Are you seriously going to look for your contact and stick it back in your eye?" Jackie asked.

"No. But now I have to run home so I can grab another one." Megan growled.

"Sucks to be you." Kadaj laughed.

"I'll get you Kabob! You and your little moogles too. Just you wait Kabob! Just you wait!" Megan said as she tried to focus her vision.

"Hey where's Sephiroth?" KT asked, hoping to catch a glimpse of the homicidal maniac.

"And where did Reno get off to?" Jackie asked as she noticed the absence of weight on her shoulder. As if on cue, gunshots could be heard. On the dashboard, Yazoo and Reno were in an all out brawl.

"Found one of 'em." KT said adjusting her glasses. Loz had scampered off to do who knows what. Which meant that it was just the 3 girls and Kadaj.

Suddenly, the garage lights cut out and strobe lights began to flash.

"Where did those come from?" KT yelped. Fog then began to appear from the front of the car as a lone figure walked through the fog and onto the roof of he car. Obviously, we already know who it is.

"Give us brother and we will spare your lives." The silhouette said in a silky voice as he took out Masamune. The girls stared at him. His hair was billowing behind him proudly.

"The smoke was a nice touch." Megan said. KT took out her butter knife and pointed it at Sephiroth.

"Never." She said darkly. The lights came back on and Loz appeared from behind the left front wheel. So he was the special effects artist eh? Kadaj then moved to gunner position on the left mirror. KT didn't even know that he would qualify as a gunner. Wordlessly, Sephiroth charged at her. KT deflected it with her butter knife, who she had lovingly named…..Chuck.

"Masamune is no match for Chuck!" Kt yelled as she parried another attack.

"Who's Chuck?" Jackie asked, now binding Loz with duct tape.

"My knife." KT said swiping at Sephiroth. Sephiroth darted away and quickly shaved a chunk off of KT's t-shirt sleeve.

Kadaj meanwhile, had taken it upon himself to fire at will. Jackie decided to stop him. She quickly grabbed Loz and walked up to Kadaj.

"Fire another shot and Loz dies!" Jackie yelled, holding the bound Loz out in front of her. Kadaj paused for a moment as he though it over. He then shrugged it off and got ready to fire again. Jackie was flabbergasted (what a fun lord XD) as was Loz. Megan then came up. With the moogle by the wings.

"Shoot again and the moogle dies!" she said holding a toothpick to the moogle's neck. Kadaj was shocked. So were the girls as he hesitantly stepped away from the gun. He didn't want to hurt something so disturbingly cute! He then trotted off to go help Yazoo. Moving back with KT and Sephiroth. KT was getting owned by Sephiroth! And we're talking serious ownage!

"Yes! Lets leave Cloud and Vincent in the house! We don't need any help at all!" KT screamed at Jackie and Megan. They both flinched as they watched her battle the all mighty Sephiroth.

"Well what do you suggest we do?" Jackie yelled back.

"I donno! Get that Turk to help us!" She yelled dodging a thrust.

"Sorry! He's already saving our butts!" Jackie yelled back.

"Then go find Cloud or Vincent!"

"There are thousands of dark little corners! Do you know how long it would take to find them!" Jackie yelled back.

"I well do something! This isn't fair at all! I couldn't even beat Sephiroth in Kingdom Hearts what makes you think I can do it know! He doesn't even have a scratch on him!" KT yelled back. Sephiroth stopped mid-swing.

"What?" he asked calmly.

"What what?" KT asked still pointing Chuck at him.

"I'm in a game you say?" he asked.

"Uhhh….yes?" KT replied slightly lowering her knife. Sephiroth blinked a few times.

"Kadaj, Yazoo, stop." He said raising his hand. They complied but looked at him in confusion.

"Show me this so called game." Sephiroth said sheathing Masamune. KT blinked in surprise. Since when did games, excluding evil diabolical mind games, interest the One Winged Angel Sephiroth? Kadaj and Yazoo now stood on either side of him and blinked dumbly at him.

"What?" KT asked. Not quite sure if she heard right.

"Show me this game." He said calmly. "NOW!" KT jumped and stared at him a moment longer. He and the rest of the remnants blinked up at her with their mako eyes. KT turned to Jackie and Megan.

"He wants to see Kingdom Hearts." She said jabbing her finger back at him.

"We heard…..well….lets show it to them." Megan shrugged. Jackie slowly nodded. KT started to walk to the door with Sephiroth floating alongside her on her right, the 3 remnants following, then Jackie and Megan, and bringing up the rear was a battered Turk.

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**What will happen when sephiroth sees himself? Ah the suspense! So yea I thought up the kingdom hearts idea like…2 seconds before I was about to type it lol. So yea here I am at college. There really isn't anything to do here in menomonie Wisconsin except run around in wal mart. Woo hoo. Sephiroth is very hard to beat in KH! At least for me! He gets like 2 hits on me and im dead! No me gusta!**


	5. Of Terrorists

**I've read so many chibi stories that it rekindled my inspiration to write this story! LOL. But this is not a chibi story. These are supposedly supposed to be action figures. LOL. Brace yourselves. This is a long one.**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Of Terrorists!**

The group strode in and went down stairs to KT's PS2. Along the way, they saw Vincent and Cloud. They were actually sitting in a dark corner! They were huddled between the exercise bike and the wall plotting the destruction of all. But they were ignored as KT tried as fast as she could to put the disc in the game system with out freaking out. I would be freaking out too if Sephiroth was hovering right next to my head watching every move. Finally, she got in and the game started.

"So what is this thing?" Reno asked as he poked it with his metal rod.

"It's called a PS2." KT said picking the correct file.

"What is its purpose?" Vincent asked as he and Cloud emerged from the shadows. The SHM, watched as the Emos approached but didn't move. Just…a lot of glaring.

"To specialize in the entertainment of children…and for people who don't have lives." Jackie explained.

"And rot our brains and wreck our vision. It's like crack for my eyes." Megan added as she stretched out on the floor.

"What is the lure of it then?" Yahoo asked.

"Uhh…well…you can die a thousand times and come back to life no matter what and you can beat people without mercy." KT explained as she transported herself (as Sora) to the Olympus Coliseum on the faithful old Gummi Ship (I HATE the Gummi Ship). All of the chibis…or dolls…whatever they are I don't even know anymore, watched in fascination as pixilated figures moved to and fro across the screen. KT picked the Platinum match to enter and watched herself run into the arena. That…thing…portal…whatever appeared and beamed down Sephiroth (Star Trek!). KT then began to fight like no tomorrow. 5 hits and she was dead. Sephiroth closely examined the screen.

"That outfit doesn't go with my skin tone and those gloves are simply horrid." He said plainly. Time seemed to freeze. Everyone looked at Sephiroth like he had grown 50 heads.

'What the hell did he just say?' KT thought wildly. Sephiroth paid no mind as he stared at the overweight Satyr on the screen. Also known as Phil. The group brushed off Sephiroth's totally OOC outburst and resumed watching KT. KT tried 5 more times. She always ended up deader than a doornail (how dead is a doornail?). Megan tried next and ended up making Sora make a total ass of himself. Then Cloud said something that boggled their minds.

"I want to try." He said walking up to Megan. Megan paused before handing him the controller. Which actually had to be set on the floor, because the proportions of the mini Cloud would not allow it. Megan explained what all of the buttons did. After that, Cloud made an important discovery. He didn't have long enough arms to push buttons and move around at the same time. He turned to Vincent.

"Vincent…I need your help." That had to be hard on his mini ego. The vampire joined the ex-Soldier at the controller and took hold of the joystick.

Megan, KT, and Jackie watched as Vincent and Cloud worked together. Cloud feverishly smacked buttons while Vincent was in charge of Sora's motor skills. After 15 minutes, KT was beyond pissed. She had just watched Sora (Vincent and Cloud) kick the crap out of the KH Sephiroth! They didn't even die! I guess being an ex- Soldier and a member of Avalanche (is that right?) is somewhat helpful. KT was ready to tear her hair out!

"What the hell that's not fair!" She screeched. Jackie and Megan weren't really paying attention to KT. They just looked around the room as if this happened every day.

"Calm down." Cloud said as he wrote something on a piece of paper with a crayon. Lets hope that it's not a suicide note.

"Chill man! It's just a game." Reno said as he lounged on a pillow with yet another mini beer. What is a doll's alcohol tolerance?

"Hey! You guys don't have any food." Loz said emerging from the stairs.

"Sure we do." KT said.

"No you don't!" Loz said. "Come see!"

The group walked up the stairs and into the kitchen. KT opened the pantry.

"What the heck?" She said as she stared at the bare shelves. Jackie watched as spider skittered into the corner of the cupboard.

"We had food this morning! Who scarfed it all down?"

"The Moogle." Kadaj said. KT cocked a brow.

"We had to give it something! How else is it going to grow?"

"You're telling me that a Moogle, the size of my thumb, ate all the food in the house?" KT asked in disbelief.

"Yup. He was a greedy one." Loz said.

"Where did you get that Moogle anyway?" Jackie asked.

"Hojo." Sephiroth said. KT froze in fear. Megan and Jackie probably would have too if they knew who he was. Megan had only seen him in the Last Order and heard of him. Jackie had also heard about him and knew that he was some sort of scientist.

"Hojo's not here is he! Please tell me that he's not here!" KT panicked.

"No he's not. He created a time rip. It was only temporary and it has already closed." Yazoo said.

"Ok good. I don't need any of his experiments running around." KT said putting a hand over her heart.

"I'm hungry!" Log interrupted.

"Yes. Having no food does propose a problem." KT said. "Guess we'll have to go to the store. I've only got $15 though."

"How much food are you planning to get! I've got 10." Megan said digging around in her pocket.

"Jackie-chan has $20." Jackie said referring to herself in third person. "Who's going to drive?"

"Well I have no gas. Only enough to make it home." Megan said.

"Guess it's up to me then." Jackie said, grabbing her purse. KT then looked to the group of video game characters sitting on the table. Sephiroth was observing the petal of a flower in a vase, Reno looked like he was passed out, Kadaj was playing a song by pressing the different phone buttons and getting different key tones, Yazoo was sleeping with a piece of newspaper as a comforter, and Vincent and Cloud had gone missing again. Loz was scuttling about trying to catch the spider that we had seen earlier in the cupboard.

"What should we do with them?" KT asked motioning to them.

"I say we just leave them here." Megan said.

"That's a good plan." Jackie said.

"Ok you guys. We're going to go get some food. Wait here. We wont be long." KT said. The girls got their shoes on and went outside to Jackie's car.

"Shotie!" KT yelled running to the passenger side. Megan could have cared less.

"Off to Rainbow!" Jackie said starting the car.

They had been driving for about 5 minutes and debating the pirates vs. ninja argument. Suddenly they were interrupted.

"Are we there yet?" Loz asked popping up behind Jackie's head. Jackie screamed and the car swerved dangerously.

"WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?" Jackie yelled.

"You didn't think that we would just stay there did you?" Log said.

"What do you mean we?" KT asked looking at him. The glove compartment burst open.

"Wow! It is stuffy in there!" Reno said climbing out. A noise came from the back.

"It's messy back here and it stinks!" A paper cup said that sounded remarkably like Kadaj.

"You're swerving into oncoming traffic. You might want to move." Sephiroth said calmly appearing behind Megan's head. Jackie looked forward and screamed as she swerved back into her lane.

"Easy! This isn't NASCAR!" Megan said hanging on for dear life.

"You should buckle your seat belt." Cloud said. KT and Megan glanced down at Cloud, who was buckled in safely. How did he manage to lift the buckle? But then again, how can he wield the Buster Sword with one hand? Vincent dropped in from the sunroof and landed on the center armrest.

"Were you on the roof the whole time?" KT asked. Vincent didn't answer but took a seat in the cup holder.

"Ok we have to take you guys back to KT's house!" Jackie said as she pulled into a parking lot to turn around. Sephiroth leapt into action.

"Turn this car around and your blood will be coating the inside of this car." Sephiroth said as he threatened her with Masamune. Jackie hissed at him but continued onto Rainbow.

When they arrived at Rainbow, they were extremely shocked. Rainbow…was closed!

"What the hell?" Jackie asked. KT squinted to read a sign that hung on the door.

"It says out of business…how the hell can rainbow be out of business?" KT asked in disbelief.

"Guess we'll have to go somewhere else." Jackie said slowly driving off as she looked at what used to be Rainbow in her rear view mirror. A few minutes passed and they were pulling into the Wal-mart parking lot.

"Why on earth are we at Wal-mart?" KT almost screeched. KT used to work at a Wal-mart and she HATED it. So now, every Wal-mart was a spawn of the devil.

"Because it was close!" Jackie growled back.

"So was Cub!" KT growled.

"Cub sucks."

"How does Cub suck? Its just a grocery store!" KT yelled, not understanding Jackie's logic at not going to Cub.

"Just shut up and get out of the car!" Jackie said as she got out. KT groaned dramatically and got out. She then tilted the seat forward. Jackie's car was one of the 2-door cars. Megan crawled out with much difficulty.

"We're coming too." Reno said walking across the passenger seat and stopping just at the edge.

"No you're not." KT said.

"If we stay in here, we'll die of heat exhaustion. It is summer after all."

"And that's a bad thing? We'll crack a window." KT said ready to close the door.

"If you left us in here, you know that we would escape and find you." Sephiroth said coming up next to Reno, who was edging away from him.

"Why are you so adamant about coming?" Megan asked as she rifled through her Shigure shaped purse for something. The dog Shigure, not the human Shigure.

"I must expand my knowledge of your world so I may one day use it as my vessel. I also need Chap stick." Sephiroth explained. The great One Winged Angel needs Chap Stick? That would almost be funny if he wasn't so serious about it.

"Then it's decided. We're coming with." Kadaj said as leaped into Megan's open purse. Kadaj poked his head out and motioned for the rest of the group to come out. In the end, Kadaj, Reno, Loz, and Cloud had crammed themselves into Megan's purse. Leaving Sephiroth, Vincent, and Yazoo jammed into Jackie's Momiji purse. KT didn't have a purse, therefore, she didn't have to carry them.

"Ok guys, try to stay as still as possible. And I know it's hard but absolutely NO fighting. You're all going to have to get along for a half an hour." Jackie said as she, KT and Megan walked into Wal-mart.

They walked up and down the aisles, throwing random food into the basket.

"I think that should be good. Is there anything else you guys want?" KT asked looking at Jackie and Megan. They both shook their heads.

"How about you guys? Do you want anything?" KT asked, referring to the strange figures nestled safely in Megan and Jackie's purses. They were greeted with silence.

"Hey are you guys alive back there?" Megan joked as she jostled her purse. Silence again. Megan took off her purse to look at its occupants. Only to realize that they weren't there.

"Uhhh…guys?" she asked.

"What's the matter?" KT asked.

"We have a problem!" Megan replied as she showed KT the empty purse. Dramatic music plays. Jackie quickly ripped her Momiji purse from her bag and looked at it. Those who were supposed to be there were also gone. The girls were in shock.

"What are we going to do! This is a Wal-mart Super Store!" Megan almost yelled.

"Maybe we should split up. They have to be around here somewhere!" KT said looking around for any traces of the escapees. Suddenly, an announcement came over the loudspeaker.

"_Attention pathetic organisms of Earth. My minions and I have selected this location for our base a hostile world take over. You have two choices. You can either join our side in the commandeering of the planet or you can all perish in the fires of Hell."_ A voice explained. Everyone in the store stopped and stared at the ceiling where the speakers were located.

"Sounds like Sephiroth. Go get him KT." Megan said walking in the opposite direction to begin the scavenger hunt.

"Why do I have to?"

"Because you're the only one who can tolerate him." Jackie explained as she too went off in a random direction. KT groaned loudly as she hung her head, but went off to fetch Sephiroth nonetheless.

KT walked along the rows of checkouts.

"Where is he? He's got to be around here somewhere!" she said quietly as she stalked around. The loud speaker came on again.

"_You have 15 minutes to comply with our demands. We require 25 chests of materia, 3 motorcycles, and a bag of peanuts. THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!"_ Sephiroth said.

'How does he know the Exorcist? And why does he need a bag of peanuts?' KT thought as she walked to end of the row. Sephiroth stood on the conveyer belt on lane 2. KT ran over to him and yanked the phone out of his hands and hung up. She then heard muffled cries coming from the floor behind the counter. She stood on her tiptoes and looked down. On the floor, was a terrified looking cashier who was bound and gagged. Sephiroth followed KT's gaze and looked extremely proud of himself.

"Sephiroth! What the hell are you doing!" KT yelled as she vaulted over the checkout to help the poor cashier.

"She was an opposing force. She needed to be eliminated." Sephiroth explained as if it was obvious.

"I am so sorry! Are you ok?" KT asked as she helped the elderly woman up. The woman wore way too much make up and had graying hair that was curled closely to her head. She also had a gap in here teeth and smelled like bug spray.

"What is that thing?" She asked as she looked over at Sephiroth who was now glaring at KT for ruining his fine work.

"Well…Gladys…" KT began as she read the woman's nametag. "It's a new project that my college is working on. Dolls that can move and think on their own. We still have a few bugs to work out as you can tell." She explained. Gladys looked from Sephiroth to KT and back again.

"Are you going to be selling that to children? That could be dangerous. I suggest that you make him a bit more user friendly. That was like a reenactment of Chucky." She explained.

"User friendly my ass you worthless-!" Sephiroth began but was cut off when KT grabbed him and ran.

"Sorry again!" KT said running off to start to find the others.

Megan wandered through the toy aisles. She hadn't found anyone yet and was wondering if any of the others have been having any luck. She stopped as she became distracted by the My Little Ponies, her favorite toy as a kid. Suddenly, a child screamed a couple aisles down. Megan looked up, trying to hear more.

"MOMMY!" The kid screamed.

"HAHAHAHAHA That tickles!" a smaller voice sounded.

"MOMMY! ANOTHER TOY IS BEATING UP ELMO!" the kid screeched. Megan put down the pony she was looking at and quickly walked to the source of the commotion. She rounded the corner. She was speechless. Loz was in the middle of the aisle. He was beating up a Tickle Me Elmo! The kid, parentless, stood there with tears streaming down his face. Apparently, to the kid, Elmo was a god. And to see another toy beat up on the god Elmo, was a reason to panic. Megan quickly walked up to Loz and crouched down.

"What are you doing!" Megan asked him angrily.

"I'm practicing my ninja skills. I gotta toughen up!" he said as he kicked Elmo in the face.

"Hahahaha! That tickles! Do it again!" the Elmo replied as he wiggled around on the floor.

'_I pity Elmo_.' Megan thought as she watched Loz punch it so hard that his hand went through its stomach. Loz dug around for a minute before pulling out the voice box along with some stuffing.

"Haha! That tickles!" the box said. Loz threw it as hard as he could.

"Who's laughing now!" he yelled triumphantly. It ended up hitting the little kid in the forehead. The kid looked shocked for a moment. All Megan could do was watch as the kid burst into a new batch of tears. Megan quickly kicked the toy so it was near the shelf, grabbed Loz, and ran, leaving the kid crying on the floor.

Jackie walked quickly as she looked for the mini abominations. She was near the pet aisles and hadn't seen any of them yet. She was just passing the cat aisle when she stopped and backed up. She turned to look down the aisle. There was cat food everywhere! It covered the floor and crunched as Jackie slowly walked down the aisle. The bag on the end was shaking.

'_Ok that has to be one of them.'_ Jackie said as she quickly made her way to it. She got to the bag and slowly peered inside. Sitting inside the dark bag, was Reno.

"What are you doing?" she asked as watched Reno eat a piece of cat food.

"I was hungry."

"You're eating cat food."

"Its good! Try some!" he said as he dusted some of the crumbs off his face.

"No thanks. Won't you get sick?"

"Nope! I've got a stomach made of iron!"

"Ok Iron Belly it's time to get out of there." Jackie said as she reached into the bag.

"Wait! I'm still hungry!"

"We're going to buy food!" She said as she grabbed him.

"Can we buy some cat food?"

"KT doesn't have any cats."

"Not for cats. For me! Please!" Reno pleaded.

'_Why on earth does Reno want cat food?'_ Jackie thought. Reno watched as Jackie mulled it over.

"What do you plan on doing with it?" Jackie asked suspiciously.

"Eat it of course. Are you sure you don't want some? It's really good! So can I please get some?" Reno asked like a little kid.

"Fine!" Jackie said. She couldn't believe that she just said that as she reached for a random bag.

"No! Not that kind!" Reno yelled. Jackie stopped her hand.

"What kind then?"

"Iams! And make sure it's the bag that says formulated for kittens! Those taste the best!" Reno explained. Jackie reached for the bag and ran out of the aisle before she got blamed for making the huge mess. 3 down, 4 to go.

KT had lost track of Sephiroth! One minute, he was in her pocket, the next he was gone! KT decided to put looking for him on hold and look for someone else. KT now found herself near the TVs. She slowly walked around, half looking for the miscreants and half looking at the video games. By chance, she glanced up at an extremely large flat screen that was mounted on the wall. It was one of the ones where it was hooked up to a video camera and you could see whatever the person was looking at through the camera up on the screen. At the moment, there was a kid playing with the camera.

'_Wait! That's not a kid! That's Cloud!_' KT thought as she saw Cloud appear on the screen. KT watched in shock as Cloud began to make silly faces at the camera.

'_What the?'_ KT thought as she watched Cloud with a weird look. She slowly approached from behind and like Cloud, made a silly face at the camera. Cloud looked in shock at the screen as KT's face appeared next to his.

"You scared me!" Cloud said laughing a little.

'_Since when would Cloud say that?'_ KT thought.

"Sorry. What are you doing?" she asked. Cloud pondered for a moment.

"I was…hey what is that?" he asked suddenly running over to a DDR mat.

'_What has happened to my Cloud?'_ KT thought. There defiantly was something wrong with Cloud. KT watched, as Cloud scampered about in the electronics department and then running to the magazine aisle, his attention span never seeming to last more than 20 seconds.

'_I wonder where Sephiroth went?'_ KT thought as she watched Cloud flip through the latest issue of Cosmopolitan.

Megan hunted around for the other dolls. Loz was safely zipped into her purse and probably suffocating at the moment. She honestly didn't care though. Megan found herself over by the women's underwear and such. As she breezed by the section, she stopped as she saw a flash of red. It was gone in the blink of an eye. She took another step and saw the red blur again. She figured it was Vincent.

'_Why would Vincent be in by the panties?'_ Megan thought as she traveled through the section. She walked through the whole section without seeing the vampire. Thinking that she was lost, a salesperson approached her.

"Do you need help finding anything?" she asked politely.

"Nope. Just looking." Megan replied. The salesperson nodded and resumed stocking the racks. Megan gave the section one final glance before starting to leave. Suddenly, she caught sight of the red blur again. It was by the unsuspecting salesperson. Megan watched as Vincent slowly approached her.

'_OMG! He's gonna bite her and turn her into a vampire!_' Megan thought taking a step towards the vampire. What he did next made Megan stop in her tracks. Vincent, the cold and ruthless vampire, looked up the girl's skirt!

'_What the hell is he doing!'_ Megan thought as she watched Vincent smile.

"Vincent!" Megan whispered, hoping to catch his attention. She got no response.

"VINCENT!" she whispered loudly as she stomped her foot. It caught the salesperson's attention instead.

"I'm sorry did you say something?" she asked.

"No…I just sneezed." Megan covered. The lady smiled, and returned to her job. Megan looked for Vincent. He was gone.

"Where did he go now?" she asked as she started prowling around the section again. She was oblivious to the pair of panties that were following her. She stopped and looked around, frustrated. Suddenly, someone spoke to her from behind.

"Check out these babies!" it said. Megan looked down to see Vincent waltzing around with a pair of panties on his head. They were dragging on the floor.

"Vincent! What the hell are you doing with those?" Megan whispered urgently.

"These would look great on you!" he said happily. Megan's eyes widened considerably.

"What do you think?" he asked as he took them off his head and showed them to Megan. They were purple and almost completely see through. Megan didn't know what to do so she blinked dumbly at him.

"There are a few others over here that would look good too." Vincent said discarding his current pair and starting to walk off to the others that he mentioned. Megan didn't give him the chance and quickly snatched him up and quickly walked out of the section.

Jackie now found herself in the toy aisles and wondering why there was a mutilated Tickle Me Elmo in the aisle. She picked it up and looked at him. She tried to tickle him. He didn't do anything. She took note of the hole in its stomach and figured that some psychologically messed up kid ripped out his voice box. Jackie was ready to give up but she couldn't let the little monsters run rampant in Wal-mart. Wal-mart would loose their stock in the Stock market if an evil like Sephiroth were left to commandeer the store. Jackie turned into the Barbie aisle

"Mommy! Look!" a kid suddenly said. "Look at that Barbie! It's moving!" A kid's voice said. Jackie looked down and saw Yazoo. He had torn open a couple packages of Barbie cloths and was now trying on various pairs of Barbie's sunglasses. The kid's mother showed up and without a word, dragged the kid away. Jackie didn't know that that was the kid who had been scarred for life when he saw Loz assault the Tickle Me Elmo.

"What are you doing Yazoo." Jackie asked as she picked up an empty package and looked at it.

"Trying on different sunglasses." He said as he slipped on a pair.

"Why?"

"The sun is trying to hurt me. He's not my friend." Yazoo explained as he tried on yet another pair that wasn't him at all. They were pink after all. Jackie shifted her eyes about as she tried to figure out why Yazoo just said that. Maybe, if she just went along with it, he would come peacefully.

"Ok well the sun won't get you if you hop into my purse." Jackie said as she unzipped her purse. Reno could be seen eating a tube of Chap Stick inside. Yazoo nodded quickly and climbed in. That was easier than I thought.

'_I should call KT or Megan and see how they are doing.'_ Jackie thought as she whipped out her phone. She dialed KT's number and waited. A few rings later, KT picked up.

"_Hello_?"

"Hey its Jackie. Have you found any of the others?"

"_Yeah. I have Cloud. I used to have Sephiroth but he got away from me again. I'm standing here with Megan. She has Loz and Vincent_."

"Sweet! I've got Reno and Yazoo. That only leaves Kadaj and Sephiroth. Where are you guys?"

"_We're by the movies_."

"Ok I'm on my way. Talk to you later." Jackie said as she hung up and began walking.

They all met up with each other and began to discuss their next plan of action. They decided that they would rather stick together on this one. So they then began to walk around looking for the remaining remnant and the pirate of Wal-mart. Suddenly, there was a large commotion near the sporting equipment. The girls looked over at each other and ran over to the section. They arrived to find it a disaster zone. They suddenly heard a familiar roaring and the whirring of wheels. They looked down an aisle as a terrified elderly woman hobbled as fast as she could from Bahamut.

"Kadaj summoned that thing in here? I thought it was dead!" Megan exclaimed.

"Apparently not! Megan go look for Kadaj!" KT said as she grabbed a baseball bat.

"Why?"

"Because you fought him before and we know how to handle this sucker." Jackie said as she picked up a stray golf ball and chucked it at the beast. Megan sighed but quickly ran off in the direction where she heard the whirring of wheels.

She rounded the corner and saw Kadaj sitting on top of a remote control Hummer with the remote in his hands. Kadaj caught sight of her, gave her a wicked grin, turned the Hummer so he was facing her, and floored it. Megan turned and ran as the Hummer closed in on her. She suddenly stopped.

"Wait a minute. Why am I running from a Hummer? You can't even do anything to me!" she said as she turned to face Kadaj. He smirked as he pushed a hidden button. The hood of the Hummer opened up and a small Nerf gun slowly rose out of it.

"Oh what is that gonna do?" Megan asked sarcastically. Kadaj smirked as he hit another button. Instead of a reasonably soft foam projectile firing out of it, a dart came out! Megan quickly ducked and then began to run again as Kadaj drove after her.

KT and Jackie had defeated Bahamut within a matter of minutes. They were now waiting for Megan to show up with Kadaj. Jackie absentmindedly swung a tennis racket around as KT examined the different styles of golf gloves. They looked up as they heard Megan's voice.

"Back! I have no fear!" she yelled appearing from an aisle as she threw a kickball at something. Her reply was a dart that went whizzing past her head. She turned and ran towards KT and Jackie. She then hid behind KT.

"Having problems?" KT joked. Kadaj rounded the corner and drove strait into KT's legs. He backed up and tried going through KT's legs again. It wasn't working. KT just bent down and plucked Kadaj from his position as gunner.

"You honestly couldn't do that? Here." She said as she handed Kadaj to Megan. Megan shrugged and threw Kadaj into her purse, making sure that it was safely zipped.

"That just leaves our precious Sephy-kins." Megan said looking around. KT and Jackie nodded.

"_I have been generous in the amount of time that I have given you. You have exceeded that time limit. Therefore, prepare to meet you doom."_ A voice on the loudspeaker interrupted. The girls didn't need to second-guess themselves as they ran towards the checkouts again.

Sephiroth stood near the aisle 10 check out, typing something on the computer. He then bashed his fists onto the keyboard.

"Stupid computer! Give me results! I don't care about the 2 for 1 sale on Kemps milk!" he complained loudly. Jackie and Megan gently pushed KT forward as she was the one with the most experience in dealing with the homicidal maniac.

"Sephiroth! Put the phone down and leave the computer alone." She said slowly. Sephiroth ignored her. She tried countless times to try to catch his attention or to just catch him in general. As unbelievable as it sounds, this lasted for 10 minutes.

"KT come on! It's not that hard to catch him. If you can catch Kadaj than you should be able to catch Sephiroth.

"Its not as easy as it looks!" KT snapped as she reached for Sephiroth, who was hovering just out of her reach and simply staring at her.

"Come on woman! Put some effort into it!" Megan said as she tried to still her thrashing purse. Apparently, someone was not happy with something in there. KT jumped for Sephiroth but he simply hovered higher.

"Pitiful mortals." Sephiroth sighed.

"Come on Sephy-kins! We love you!" Megan suddenly said. Sephiroth turned his attention to her.

"What did you call me?" he asked as he slowly descended towards Megan.

"We love you Sephy-kins." She said. KT caught onto her plan and slowly snuck up behind Sephiroth.

"There will now be a blood bath." He said as he reached for Masamune. Before he could unsheathe it however, KT's hand grabbed him out of the air. KT then made sure that he couldn't escape again by binding him with scotch tape that she had found in the little drawer under the computer.

"Lets get out of here before we get busted." Jackie said walking to a different check out.

Upon arriving at the chosen check out, KT wanted to screen. They had chosen Gladys' check out. She glared at KT and the Sephiroth. Sephiroth glared at Gladys as well. They checked out and got their bags.

"Have a good day!" KT said to Gladys. Gladys narrowed her eyes in anger.

"METEOR!" Sephiroth suddenly yelled. He may have been bound, but his mouth wasn't. Suddenly, from out of the sky, a mini Genova came down in a fiery ball of doom. It was maybe the size of the largest exercise ball.

In a moment of confusion, the girls watched as the meteor rocketed towards the check out that they were just in.

"Gladys! Look-!" Jackie started but stopped as Genova struck Gladys. "…out…" she finished. All of checkout 2 was now in rubble and Gladys was now an ex-human.

"Struck down in her prime. What a shame." Sephiroth joked. "That's what she gets for thwarting my dastardly deeds."

"Sephiroth! You just killed an innocent person!" KT screeched.

"So!"

"This is whimsically unfortunate!" Megan laughed. KT ignored her and continued to yell at Sephiroth.

"You cant do that here!"

"Do you want to be next?" he threatened. Suddenly, KT was tapped on the shoulder. She turned to face a man who was bald, had large nerdy glasses, and a pocket protector.

"As manager of this Wal-mart, I'm forbidding you from ever setting foot back in this store. NOW GET OUT!" he yelled as he pointed at the door. The girls quickly shuffled out as the mangaer watched them. Once outside, another battle cry erupted.

"METEOR!" Sephiroth yelled again. Another mini Genova came blazing from the sky and through the door. The manager now ceased to exist.

"Sephiroth!" KT yelled.

"Never mind him. Run!" Jackie said as she bolted to her car. KT and Megan followed and they quickly drove back to KT's house. The girls couldn't believe that they had just gotten banned from Wal-mart.

* * *

**Don't worry. All of their OOCness is leading up to something and will be explained in later chapters! Who knew that Sephiroth could control meteors? I don't know if he really can but he can in this story. Gladys had to be the sexiest woman that I have ever written about! LOL. JK! And that manager was a real stud muffin! Wal-mart brings out the best in us.**


	6. Of Complete Loonacy

**I got some new fish for my dorm room! Hoo ha! i had to get some new ones because my one guppy killed all of the other ones except one. So he has been seperated from the remaining guppy and the new fish and because i am a poor college student, will be spending the rest of his days in a Gladware container lol. My new fish are apparently called Pearl Scale Gold Fish. They are so fat that they look like they are ready to give birth to a golfball! And they basically inhale the food that i give them. I like to make fun of them. lol.**

* * *

**C****hapter 6: Of Complete Loonacy**

Everyone had made it home in one piece and were now lounging about in the house. KT decided to take it upon herself to initiate the conversation that was weighing heavily on her mind.

"Hey guys? Have you noticed that the guys have been acting a little differently?" she asked Megan and Jackie.

"I caught Reno eating cat food…what do you think?" Jackie asked as she texted on her phone.

"I was scarred for life when I saw Vincent look up some chick's skirt." Megan said as she ran a hand through her hair.

"He did what?" KT asked.

"He looked up some girl's skirt! No lie!" Megan said as she bit into a chocolate chip cookie.

"I did no such thing." Vincent defended as he strolled into the kitchen where everyone else had congregated.

"Your eyes deceived you." He said as he easily hopped up on the table. Meanwhile, Kadaj was looking ominous in the corner.

"Kadaj!" Jackie exclaimed happily. "What are you doin?" Kadaj blinked at her but stepped out of the shadows without answering. He looked like he was holding something behind his back.

"What 'cha got there?" Jackie asked. Kadaj slowly revealed it. It was a spork.

"Just a spork? For a minute I thought that you had a weapon of mass destruction behind your back. You had me worried." KT said as she sipped some tea.

"I do. And the mass I'm going to destruct is you!" Kadaj threatened as he held his spork out threateningly.

"Megan? Would you take care of that for me?" KT asked as she slowly blinked.

"Gladly." Megan said before reaching down and plucking the spork out of Kadaj's grasp. She then broke it in half and tossed it over her shoulder.

"Arigato." KT said.

"Ok…so…what is up with these guys?" KT asked as she watched Sephiroth reach his hand into a salt shaker, pull out a handful, and shoved it into his mouth. He swallowed it with no problem and had no reaction to it whatsoever.

"I don't know. What time is it?" Megan asked.

"Almost 3." Jackie said as she glanced at her phone.

"I'm bored." Megan said bluntly. They were all wanting to figure out what was going on with the guys but sadly, they were too lazy to do so.

They had moved their boredom to a new spot now. Kt's room. Megan was playing around with some of Kt's cosplay stuff. She found a silver wig and put it on.

"Look guys! I'm Kadaj!" She said. The wig was almost exactly the same as Kadaj's hair. Except it was missing one thing and Jackie noticed it. She got off the bed and went up to Megan.

"Emo flip!" She said as she separated a chunk of the wig so it hung down in Megan's face.

"You don't even come close to looking like me." Kadaj growled from the corners.

"Awww…looks like someone has the bad case of the Mondays!" Megan taunted at him.

"It's Saturday you idiot." KT supplied.

"That's not the point! See look I can totally be you! Watch!" Megan said as she straitened up and tried to look evil.

"Where is mother?" She asked to no one " I know you hid her. We need her for the reunion." She said in her best Kadaj accent. Which actually sounded a lot like him. It was uncanny. KT then got up and got out her cloak from the closet. Yes she did have a cloak and it was an awesome cloak. She then draped it around her shoulders and tied a bandana around her forehead.

"I am Vincent the vampire!" she said in Vincent's tone. To bad Vincent was not around to see it. He and Cloud were off being emo in the hall closet. Probably drinking all of the Dr. Pepper since that's where he extra pop was stored. How do action figures react to caffeine?

She then ran upstairs and grabbed a yellow rubber glove and ran back down stairs with it on.

"I am Vincent. Fear my metal arm that is made out of gold!" she said as she snapped the glove onto her arm and wiggled her fingers about. Like the cartoon doctors do. She then slowly reached her hand out to Jackie's face.

"Vincent has spirit fingers!" Jackie yelled as she laughed.

"Vincent has spirit yes he do! Vincent has spirit how bout you?" Megan cheered as she jumped around like a cheerleader. A Kadaj look-a-like on the cheer squad…terrifying.

"Jackie chan! You need to dress up!" KT said as she tugged on Jackie's shirtsleeve.

"Where is your Cloud stuff? I wanna be Cloud!" Jackie exclaimed.

"Its in the closet. Just dig around." KT said as she adjusted her cape. KT then put on her cowboy boots. They were the only shoes she had that were close enough to Vincent's.

"Now those are hot!" Jackie laughed as she tucked her hair into the spiky, blond wig.

"Shut it!" KT growled

"Hmmm…I don't feel very Kadaj-esque. What should I do?" Megan asked as she looked at KT and Jackie.

"You're right. You don't look like Kadaj." KT said.

"Thank god!" Kadaj muttered as he flipped through a book about the beasts in Dungeons and Dragons.

"You need more black!" Jackie cheered as she rolled the sleeves of her black, short sleeved shirt up. For the record, everyone is going for the outfits worn in Advent Children.

"Ok! I'm gonna run home so that I can grab some stuff then!" Megan said as she quickly stood up.

"Really? Why?" KT asked.

"I want to! I've never cosplayed before!" she said as she dashed out of the room, up the stairs, pausing only for a moment to put her shoes on, then dashing out the door.

"What a loser." Kadaj huffed.

"Look who's talking!" KT mumbled under her breath.

"What did you say?" Kadaj asked, his temper flaring.

"Nothing!" KT covered.

It had been about 15 minutes when Megan finally came back. She was now all in black and also had tinfoil for the more shiny parts of Kadaj's wardrobe. She entered the room and struck a dramatic pose.

"I'm back ya'll!" She said as she stared at them through her sunglasses that she had forgotten to remove. KT pretended to shoot Megan with her bright orange super soaker that was acting as Vincent's gun.

"I don't think that Kadaj would say 'ya'll'" Jackie said as she tied a black sweatshirt around her waist to act as the half cape thing. Everyone looked at Kadaj for a conformation. They only got a middle finger.

"How rude." Megan huffed as she turned on KT's stereo and put in a random, unlabeled CD. Unlabeled CDs are very fun. Its always a surprise….that was corny.

"What CD did you put in?" KT asked as she watched Sephiroth wake up. Sephiroth had fallen asleep huddled in a teddy bear's lap and was now stretching and yawning. You have to admit that that would be cute.

"I donno. One of the ones that I burned for you I think." Megan's said as she watched Reno wake up as well from his perch on a shelf. Loz, and Yazoo were suddenly jolted awake as Kung Fu Fighting started to blast out of the one speaker. If you remember correctly, the other one was slashed in half during the epic battle of Cloud and Sephiroth.

"Everybody was kung fu fighting! HA!" KT sang as she threw her fist out. This was the cool, revamped version of the song by Fatboy Slim. Not the weird 70's version.

"Grr not this song!" Jackie complained as she attached a small ball of tin foil to her chest to act as Cloud's lion insignia thing. Which looked suspiciously like a doorknocker. KT played the song so often that it was inside Jackie's head almost every waking moment of the day.

"Those kids were fast as lightning! Huh!" Megan sang as she threw out her leg. Vincent and Cloud had now lumbered in and were watching KT and Megan in amazement as they danced. Their eyes were round in shock. Or maybe it was that Megan looked like Kadaj and KT attempted to look like Vincent.

"You fail at dancing!" Jackie said as she skipped to the next song.

"I'll say." Said Kadaj.

"Like you could do a better job." KT growled.

"That sounds like a challenge!" Jackie said as she dug out the Buster sword that KT had made from duck tape. Cloud stared at the poorly depicted giant form of himself. Poor Cloud.

"I refuse your challenge." Kadaj said as he watched Sephiroth float up to the stereo.

"Cause you're too much of a pussy." KT said as she adjusted her glasses on the bridge of her nose.

"What did you call me?" Kadaj asked dangerously as he abandoned his book and began to stride over to KT.

"I called you a-!" she was interrupted when Sephiroth switched the song. There was a short silence as the track changed and suddenly an all too familiar song came out. Sephiroth stared at for a moment and then seemed satisfied as he jumped down. The music started off slowly at first and then sped up. Megan began to dance.

"You know what's really sad? I used to know this whole dance!" Megan said as she did one of the dance's trademark moves.

"What a sad life you lead. Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a kid?" KT asked.

"I can't say that I have." Megan answered as she spun in little circles, her Kadaj wig almost flying off. Reno was also now grooving on the bedspread. Though he just kind of moved his head around. The chorus then sang the words that everyone knew so well.

"Cause this is Thriller! Thriller night!" Megan sang along to Michael Jackson's voice.

"You fail as MJ." Jackie sighed as she grabbed her disposable camera and took a quick picture.

"That's not how it goes!" Sephiroth said from the floor as he stabbed Megan's leg with Masamune.

"Ow!" Megan yelped as she leapt onto the bed. They all looked down to see that Sephiroth was now bustin a move!

Silence from everybody filled the room as they watched Sephiroth channel little Michael.

"Did MJ possess him or something?" KT asked as she scratched the back of her head.

"I donno but this is a Kodak moment." Jackie said as she grabbed her camera again. She snapped the picture right as Sephiroth was starting to moon walk. What was even more terrifying was that Cloud was joining in. Cloud ignored their stupefied stares as he did the funky chicken.

"I must say that Sephiroth is a very good dancer." KT said as she began to tap her foot to the beat. Reno and Vincent were now also dancing. Vincent turned out to be very graceful and very flexible as he did the splits.

"God that was weird." Megan said as she bopped along. Kadaj was stunned as he watched the horror show take place. Yazoo and Loz were also stunned. Yazoo, for the same reason that Kadaj was, but Loz was for a different reason. He walked over to the remote and hit the pause button. Everyone turned to look at him.

"That's not dancing!" Loz announced. The girls looked at each other.

"Then what is?" Jackie asked curiously. Loz smirked and then began to skip over tracks to find the one he was looking for as if he knew what was on the CD. He finally stopped and climbed to the floor. Jump On It by Sir Mix A Lot blared out. Loz waited for a minute before he began to move his feet.

The girls stared at Loz in astonishment and also horror. Loz was break dancing! And he was good at it. Yazoo cheered him on as Loz spun on his head like a top.

"I think their brains are broken." KT said.

"I concur!" Megan said wide-eyed. Kadaj stood there gaping like a fish.

"What in the name of Jenova's head is happening?" he asked to no one in particular.

"I couldn't tell you." Jackie said, as the group now got into a fight over the stereo remote to find another song. Sephiroth wanted 80's or 90's rock while Loz wanted rap.

"Did we somehow overdose on pills and not know that we did it?" Megan asked.

"Well…you probably did. Jackie and I didn't" KT supplied.

"No you guys probably snorted Pixie Stix." Megan said. None of them noticed that the guys had divided into 2 definite groups. Jackie finally took the time to notice.

"What are you guys doing?" she asked as Loz and Reno were right in each other's faces and apparently trying to stare each other down. They did not get a direct answer, but Loz said something while he shoved Reno.

"Get outta my grill playa!" Loz nearly yelled.

"I ain't playin that dog!" Reno said as he shoved back. There was another stare down. KT kneeled down and lightly tapped Vincent on the shoulder. He barely glanced at her but kept his attention on what was going on in front of him.

"What's going on?" KT asked him.

"Rap Battle." He said simply as he shrugged. KT was ready to take a hammer to her head and knock herself out. KT stood back up and looked at the 2 groups. Sephiroth, Yazoo, and Kadaj stood on one side while Vincent and Cloud stood on the other side. Reno and Loz were now circling each other, each with a midget microphone in their hands.

"What are they doin K-san?" Jackie asked.

"They're having a rap battle!" The girls formed collective sweat drops.

"How does a rap battle go?" Megan asked. The girls shrugged. They had never seen a rap battle. Suddenly, Loz started spouting out what he thought was a good rap. Reno scoffed. The girls could not discern in the slightest about what was being said. After a good 5 minutes, Loz finally stopped and put down the mic.

"And that's the way it's done motha fucka!" He said as he made some kind of gang symbol with his hand. Sephiroth and Yazoo cheered. Kadaj didn't as he did not want to be there in the least bit. Reno glanced worriedly at his supporters. Cloud and Vincent nodded. This was not going to go well for the poor Turk.

"Umm…how bout I go eat some hay! I can lie by the bay and make things out of clay! What do ya say!" was the first and probably the last line. Megan couldn't help but burst out in laughter.

"Word to you're motha!" Reno finished. History's shortest rap battle. Reno just got owned.

"Poor Reno." KT snickered. Reno was a badass not a gangsta. Reno hung his head in shame and walked back to Cloud and Vincent. They both gave him a supportive clap on the back. He gave a weak smile and went to sulk in the corner.

"How did that even get started?" Megan asked.

"Beats me. But Loz gots the skillz that killz I guess. Word yo!" KT said. Jackie stared at her.

"Never…do that again." Jackie said.

There was a slight pause in action.

"So what do we do now?" Megan asked as she watched the guys do the Electric Slide. Reno included.

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" KT asked.

"We could watch a movie or something." Megan suggested. KT threw a hand up to her forehead in mock surprise.

"Praise Allah! Me-san actually suggested something!" she said dramatically. Megan grumbled and crossed her arms.

"What about them though?" Jackie asked as she watched them dance. Kadaj was even beginning to tap his toes.

"They're grown men, well…not really… they don't need to be baby-sat." KT said as she walked out. Megan and Jackie glanced at each other before following KT to select a movie.

Quite a while had passed and they were about an hour into Dawn of The Dead when the guys wandered in.

"Oh hey movies! What are we watchin?" Reno asked as he took a seat in between KT and Jackie.

"Dawn of the Dead." KT said.

"Hahahaha! Burt Reynolds just got owned!" Megan laughed, as she watched the part where Andy (the gun store man) burst Burt Reynolds' head to smithereens.

"Get Rosy O'Donnell next!" Jackie cheered.

"To bad MJ isn't there." Megan said with a grin.

"He already looks like a zombie as it is." KT replied. The others slowly trickled in and made themselves comfortable. Sephiroth, much to Megan's dismay, had taken a seat on her left shoulder. Cloud was perched on the top of the couch, Kadaj…well they weren't sure where he was, and Loz and Yazoo shared a pillow to sit on. All were accounted for except…

"Hey where's Vincent?" Megan asked. The guys shrugged. Shrugging is not a good thing in this case. As if on cue, there was a scream and then a moan from the computer room.

"That did not come from the movie." Megan stupidly pointed out.

"Wise observation Captain Obvious." KT groaned as she paused the movie and got up to see what all of the hullabaloo was all about in the next room. There was a few minutes of silence after KT left.

"She could have at least left the movie going so we could watch it." Reno sighed.

"Have no fear." Megan said as she reached for the controller and pushed play. They then focused their eyes on the zombie busting goodness.

KT slowly walked in to the computer room and stared in shock at the sight that had unfolded. Vincent was sitting in front of the screen, transfixed with the pixilated images. Another moan erupted from the computer speakers. KT slowly walked closer to investigate. She finally saw what was on the screen and wanted to scratch out her eyes.

"Vincent! I do not appreciate you watching Tentacle Hentai!!!!" KT almost yelled. Vincent paid her no mind and continued to watch the screen.

"Wouldn't you rather watch Dawn of the Dead? Zombies are fun!" KT asked as she tried to get over this strange sight.

"Is there sex in it?" Vincent asked, finally looking at her.

'_Why is Vincent acting so OOC? What is going on?'_ KT thought quickly.

"No." she answered. At this, Vincent returned his attention to the screen to watch as the anime girl was raped by tentacles. Blegh.

"Turn that crap off!" KT said in a dangerous tone. Vincent shook his head.

"If you don't get off of that site, I will put you back in your coffin and nail the lid down." She threatened. Vincent sighed as he clicked out of the window and tried to stem his current nosebleed. KT nodded her head once in victory and turned to walk out. She stopped in her tracks when she heard another moan.

"Vincent what did I just tell you?" KT yelled.

"You said to get off of that site. You never said anything about any other sites." He explained with a pervy smirk. KT was ready to take a hammer to her head to make her go unconscious so that she could forget about everything.

"Get off of the computer and come watch the movie with us!" KT yelled as she pointed towards the other room.

"Who are you yelling at?" Jackie suddenly yelled. KT didn't answer but quickly grabbed Vincent, none to gently mind you, and x-ed out of the internet. She walked back to Megan and Jackie with Vincent in hand. She then made Vincent forcibly sit next to Cloud.

"Cloud? I'm trusting you to watch Vincent. Keep him away from the computer at all costs! You can both go in the closet, be Emo, and smoke a hookah pipe if you have to just keep him away from the computer!" KT explained. Cloud glared for a moment but nodded nonetheless. Cloud seemed back to his normal self, what happened to the normal Vincent? Where did he go?

"What happened?" Megan asked. KT glared at her. She couldn't think of a proper way to explain it without breaking down into hysterical fits of sobbing. Finally, after some thought, she figured out a way to get the point across.

"The internet is really, really great!" She started to sing.

"For porn!" Megan joined in. KT stopped singing after that and left Megan and Jackie to figure it out for themselves. Megan sat deep in thought.

"I don't…oh….EW!" she cried. Jackie had caught on before but simply hadn't said anything. Just sat there, completely baffled on Vincent's discovery of porn.

They finished the movie around 10 and were now simply screwing around. Vincent had luckily returned to his normal vampiric state. The others seemed normal as well. Upon realizing what had taken place, all the guys went into the laundry room to sulk. Except for Reno. Reno is and always will be, incapable of sulking. Unless rap battles are involved. He remained with KT, Megan, and Jackie to joke around.

After being completely stupid and idiotic for a good 3 hours, the girls decided that they had better turn in for the night. KT had forbidden them from going home. She was not going to keep track of all the guys by herself. Hence, the double sleepover.

"Where are we gonna sleep?" Reno asked as he and the rest of the guys trickled in. KT stared into space for a moment.

"Yes that does present a problem." Megan sighed as she got her heap of blankets and made it into a comfortable little nest on the floor near KT's dresser. Jackie didn't say anything as she also curled up near the foot of KT's bed. At the moment, KT was too tired to do an immense amount of thinking.

"Just camp out where ever you want." She sighed as she collapsed into her bed. The guys looked at each other but began to spread out amongst the room.

"Share the blanket woman." Sephiroth said as he approached Megan. Megan blinked dumbly at him but forked over a small corner or a blanket.

"If you touch me when I'm sleeping, your in BIG trouble." Megan said as she watched Sephiroth stretch out on the small corner that she had given him about 3 feet from her face.

"Go to sleep." He said as he closed his eyes.

"If I crush you in the night, its only an accident. So just punch me or something and I'll move." Megan said. Maybe those weren't the wisest words to say to the general. Reno had wound himself up in the cloak that KT had discarded earlier on the floor and was already dozing. Yazoo had buried himself amongst the Beanie Babies for warmth, Loz had nestled himself in one of KT's slippers, and Kadaj had simply taken to sleeping on a shelf. Cloud had curled up in the middle of an unused pillow on KT's bed and Vincent…well…for all they knew, he could be hanging upside down like a bat in KT's closet. After everyone had situated themselves, they let the sounds of Reno's snoring lull them to sleep.

* * *

**Their OOCness is intended and will be explained in the next chapter!!! Thats right! I'm keeping u all in suspense!!!! Squee its almost Thanksgiving break! That means i can go home and play KH2 like a friggen maniac. haha! Ive hidden the game hidden the game away so that my brother can't find it an play it without me (Don't worry K-san! i know exactly where it is. Its in my sock drawer!!!). yea im protective of KH2. Bit sad really. Oh jeez! Today i was almost mowed over by a guy on crutches!!! I have never seen someone move that fast on crutches! I was coming down the stairs and some guy comes motoring down the hall on his crutches. I'm serious this guy was really moving!!!! i survived though with only a mild heart attack. **


	7. Of Dramatic Twists

**Hoo Ha! Last weekend i had to help my mom clean out the mouse traps that we set in out basement. nasty business that...especially when my mom took a dead, headless, bloodied mouse and chased me around with it. i am not afraid of mice but that stunt crossed the line. i also played a KH2 marathon last weekend. i finally defeated Demyx after dieing 17 times and now i am stuck on Xaldin. Curses...**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Of Dramatic Twists!!!**

The entire house was quiet. Everyone was sleeping peacefully…that is…until Jackie woke up to a very odd occurrence.

'_What's that?_' Jackie thought, barely half awake. She twitched a bit.

'_It almost feels like silk…hmm…its kind of nice._' She thought. Something was tickling her nose. She snorted softly to get it off her nose but the object would have none of it. She snorted a few more times and even shook her head a little bit but the object remained.

'_Ok this is annoying. What is it?'_ she asked herself as she blearily opened her eyes. She batted them a few times to clear the sleep from them and then looked down at her nose. Whatever it was, was silver. She stared a little harder at it to figure out what it was. It looked like a couple strands of hair. She slowly picked it up and followed it up to where it connected with several other strands of silver hair. She finally recognized it.

'_Hmm…I never noticed how long Yazoo's hair was and how much of it he had._' She thought as she continued to stare at him, not quite realizing what had happened during the night. Finally it clicked.

'_Wait…his face seems kind of big! OMG WTF!!!_' she basically screamed in her head. She gazed in wonder and in horror at the now fully-grown Yazoo that had fallen out of the Beanie Baby basket and was now snoozing fitfully next to her head. She shot up but did not get very far as her head smacked into something hard. She cringed and held her head as she looked up at what she hit. It looked like a boot and it was dangling off the bed.

'_What? A boot?'_ she thought as she sat up now, careful of the all-powerful boot. She slowly peered over the edge of the bed to see who the boot was connected to. The leg belonged to an also fully un-action figured Cloud that was hogging most of the bed while KT was curled up on a small sliver of it. Jackie's mind immediately assumed the worst but she then remembered that that is where Cloud fell asleep last night when he was still a wee little being. Jackie finally couldn't take it anymore and screamed at the top of her lungs.

Megan jolted awake at the ear splitting sound and looked around irritably…or at least tried to. There appeared to be a large black and silver blanket blocking her view.

'_God what the hell is this big blanket doing here?' _she thought as she tried to push the 'blanket' away. She found that it took a little more effort than necessary to push the blanket away. In fact, it took a lot.

"What the hell this blanket weighs a lot." She said groggily as she looked at it. The blanket then began to move. Megan watched it. The 'blanket' then slowly turned and regarded her with Mako eyes. Megan finally caught up to speed and took in the rest of the blanket.

'_Blankets don't have eyes. Nor do they have a 7ft sword. Nor do they look like a mass murdering general.'_ She reasoned. Before she could think of anything else rational, she screamed, jumped up, and ran out of the room. Not before tripping over a Turk's head and falling to the ground. Then she got up and proceeded her flee-ing.

KT was a little slower to rise. In fact she didn't at all and simply turned onto her side so that she was facing Cloud. Cloud suddenly sneezed in his sleep, thus causing KT to wake up. Strange how she sleeps through a scream but wakes up to a sneeze. She blinked at him and then out of all of the girls, had the fastest reaction time. She screamed and completely tumbled out of the bed and onto the floor. Or what was said to be the floor. Instead, she ended up falling onto Loz's shins. He cried out and woke up anyone else who was still sleeping.

"Whoa! What's goin on?" Reno asked loudly as he rubbed his eyes. Jackie screamed. KT screamed. Megan screamed from somewhere upstairs. Jackie and KT screamed again. Jackie and KT looked at each other and screamed once more for good measure before trampling anyone in their path in the exiting of KT's room.

KT and Jackie briefly caught a glance of Kadaj tumbling off the futon as they passed the room and dashed upstairs. They huddled together under the kitchen table and for a brief moment, wondered if Megan had found safety. There answer was found shortly.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Megan screamed as she dashed out of KT's parent's room with a smirking Vincent walking after her. Megan slid under the table to cower in fear with KT and Jackie.

"What on earth happened to you?" KT asked in a whisper. Megan babbled out a few words that would be almost completely indiscernible to the untrained ear but KT and Jackie had the experience to decode it. To make a long story short, she had hid in a closet, which coincidently, held a sleeping fully-grown Vincent.

"Good morning ladies." Vincent said smoothly as he peered under the table with a sly grin. KT and Jackie stared at him in amazement while Megan nervously twisted the hem of her shirt. The rest of the non-action figured guys soon began to climb the stairs. They joined Vincent in the kitchen and exchanged greetings. Reno and Sephiroth bent down to peer under the table.

"What are you guys doing under there?" Reno asked. They got no answer. Just stunned silence.

"Come on out! You guys need to make your selves beautiful for the day!" Sephiroth chimed.

"We will…as soon as we figure out what happened!" Jackie said loudly.

"Come on guys! We won't bite you!" Cloud exclaimed excitedly as he looked under the table as well. KT slowly began to move foreword and began to crawl out. Cloud helped her up and she stood to her full height and gazed around at the guys, who were now full height just like her. Jackie and Megan slowly stood next to her.

"I bet you guys are hungry! I'll start on the breakfast! You guys go get dressed." Sephiroth said as he started to look through the cupboards for any source of food. The girls remained rooted to the spot. Megan's eye twitched a bit. Kadaj suddenly came up from behind and began to steer them all towards the stairs.

"Don't worry. We'll make sure that he doesn't poison it." Kadaj said with a smile. KT never liked his smile. She found it…insanely creepy. With that, the girls walked down the stairs as if in a daze.

After the girls had gotten dressed, they stood in KT's room, not doing much of anything.

"What on earth happened to them?" KT asked as she sat down on her bed.

"I have no idea." Jackie replied. Megan's mind was elsewhere.

"I can't believe I woke up next to Sephiroth. My nightmare has come to life." Megan said as she shuddered. Jackie and KT simply looked at her and shook their heads.

"Well what should we do?" Jackie asked. KT shrugged.

"I don't know. I really don't know. Maybe we should-!" KT began but was interrupted by Cloud yelling down the stairs.

"Breakfast is almost ready guys! It smells nummy!"

"That was an odd choice of language for Cloud." Jackie pointed out. KT nodded with a peculiar look on her face. The looked to Megan for agreement.

"Sephiroth…" she said in almost a whisper as she cringed.

"Guess we should go up. Sephiroth might come and kill us if we don't eat." KT sighed as she got up and began to trudge up the stairs. Jackie had to basically drag Megan up but she did follow. They arrived in the kitchen expecting the worst. Oh what a sight to behold it was.

The table had magically doubled in length so that it was able to accommodate all of the people. The power of the Life Stream no doubt. There was also a large vase of flowers as a centerpiece with plates and silver wear placed expertly about the table.

"There you guys are!" Kadaj exclaimed happily.

"Yes…here we are." KT said giving a strange grin. The others gave their greetings. Reno was happily playing with a lose string on his jacket, Vincent had a weird look on his face that probably meant he was daydreaming, Loz was slung out on the couch, Yazoo was huddled in a chair and was looking extremely depressed, while Kadaj looked like he was scheming something. Cloud and Sephiroth were doing the most interesting things. Cloud had removed the top off of the salt shaker, poured a small pile of salt into his palm, and was running around the room sprinkling it on everyone's heads saying that it was pixie dust.

"Please stop." Yazoo said meekly as he attempted to discreetly get the salt out of his hair. Sephiroth had to be by **FAR** the strangest thing that the girls had ever seen. Sephiroth stood at the helm of the stove, spatula in his left hand while he seasoned what appeared to be scrambled eggs. The apron that said "Kiss the Cook" had to be the icing on the cake. The girls slowly moved to take a seat, keeping their eyes on Sephiroth the entire time, and sat down.

"Hope you like scrambled eggs and bacon." Sephiroth said as he scraped some eggs out of the pan and onto their plates. Jackie prodded the substance with a fork. It looked ok and it actually smelled very good. KT sprinkled a little bit of pepper on and slowly took a bite. She mulled it over for a bit. Suddenly her eyes widened and she began to basically inhale the food. Jackie and Megan looked at her in wonder and sampled the food themselves.

"Oh snap! This is GOOD!" Megan said as she shoveled in forkfuls. Sephiroth beamed at his accomplishment. The rest of the guys seated themselves and dug in as well as they began to carry on conversations.

"Where are your parents?" Loz spoke, for the first time the entire morning if you don't count the scream.

"Yeah they should have been up by now. Are you guys sisters or something?" Reno asked between mouthfuls.

"No we are not sisters thank god. I'm a sister from another Mister." KT said.

"That had to be the worst thing that I have ever heard!" Megan laughed. KT and Jackie laughed along.

"But yeah this is my house. My parents are away for like 2 weeks at the casino. Treasure Island is pretty close to here and they like to gamble. So they left me to fend for myself." KT explained as she finished off the last of her bacon.

"Don't worry. I'll protect you!" Vincent smirked as he scooted closer to KT. He then got a water blast to the head.

"Down boy! Bad! Sit!" Kadaj exclaimed as he continued to squirt Vincent with a spray bottle that had magically appeared in his hand. Upon closer inspection, it was a bottle of Febreeze and Vincent now smelt of Mountain Mist. It was very refreshing.

Everyone was getting more and more comfortable with each other. However, the girls found it rather strange that Sephiroth would keep winking at Cloud. Jackie almost choked to death on her eggs when suddenly; out of completely nowhere, a 6-inch tall Aerith appeared! She appeared with a cute little "pop" and simply hovered above the table as she stared at the girls. She was in her traditional pink garb and now, she had totally fake, chibi angel wings and a small golden halo. Figures. She smiled brightly and hovered down till she was eye level with all of the occupants. Cloud was first to break the silence.

"Hey! It's the dead lady!" he said happily. Aerith sweat dropped and those vertical, blue lines came down on her face. Megan gaped at Cloud.

"Cloud? Don't you remember who this is?" KT asked as she motioned to Aerith. Cloud focused on her with his bright blue eyes.

"Of course I do! She grows pretty flowers! Flower Lady? Can you teach me how to make a Daisy crown? Oh look wings!" he said as he pointed to her wings. Everyone else continued to eat as if nothing was happening. Sephiroth came back into the kitchen after doing god knows what.

"Oh good morning Aerith! Are you hungry?" he asked pleasantly. Aerith shook her head.

"Not to be rude but your ringlets are looking a little flat. The humidity is probably what's causing it." Sephiroth explained. Aerith nodded once and turned her attention back to the girls.

"Can I speak to you three privately for a moment?" she asked politely. KT nodded and they all got up. They followed the, flying, midget Aerith downstairs and into KT's room.

"Close the door please." She said. Jackie closed it and waited for Aerith to go on.

"I suppose you are wondering what has happened." She said as she nervously began to wring her hands together.

"Yes an explanation would be most appreciated." Megan said. Aerith nodded.

"Well the truth is…we don't know." She said as she began to flutter around.

"What? And who's we?" Jackie asked.

"Zack and I. And we don't know what happened. But we do know one thing." She explained. There was a dramatic pause.

"And what is that?" KT asked.

"When they became full-sized, they seemed to have…um…" Aerith began as she tried to find a way to put it nicely. Turns out…there isn't.

"They what?"

"Hmm…how to put it nicely…I guess there isn't. I'll just say it then." She said. Megan rolled her eyes and looked at the ceiling.

'_Enough with the suspense all ready! Hurry along woman!'_ she thought.

"Basically…their brains are broken." Aerith finally said.

"I think we figured that out already." KT said. Aerith nodded.

"Yes it is frightfully obvious. If you must blame anyone, blame Zack." Aerith said with a slight roll of her eyes.

"What does Zack have to do with anything?" Jackie asked.

"He was bored one day and decided that it would be funny to see what his fellow comrades and enemies would do if they were turned into dolls." Aerith explained as she rubbed her temples and paced/floated back and forth. Poor Aerith. She always got the short end of the stick. Being stabbitied by Sephy-kins, having to put up with a bored Zack…

"So…Zack is like…lord of the action figures? Zack Almighty? That sounds kind of weird." Megan said dumbly. She was ignored as Aerith continued.

"I haven't the slightest idea on how he was able to do such a thing but I can hear him laughing as we speak." She groaned.

"So what are we supposed to do?" KT asked.

"Watch over them. Watch over them until we, or in this case I since I'm sure Zack won't help me, figure out how to reverse it." She explained as she put a hand over her heart.

"Oh…great." KT sighed. Aerith looked at her with pity-filled eyes.

"Don't worry I'll work on it as much as I can. There isn't much to do in the Life Stream anyway. Remember though…they are not themselves. They are as you would say it…OOC. I am sure that they will not harm you in any way." Aerith explained.

"What are you guys doing down there? Are you having an orgy or something? If you are…can I watch?" Vincent suddenly called from the kitchen. The girls, including Aerith, looked at the door disgusted.

"I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that Vincent's problem is that he is a giant pervert?" Megan asked to no one in particular.

"Sounds like it. Now there is one more detail. I am not certain, but they may have brief moments in which they lapse back to their original personalities. I suggest you watch for those and be prepared for anything." Aerith said. The girls nodded.

"I'll stop by when ever I can to help you. I wish you the best of luck." She said before suddenly vanishing in an explosion of flower petals.

"Hmm your room smells nice now." Jackie said as she looked at the little petals on the floor. A question suddenly popped into Megan's head.

"What are you going to do when Jackie and I have to go home? Are you going to be able to handle it yourself because my parents forbid guys from sleeping over?" She asked. KT was quick to answer.

"Oh you guys aren't going home."

"We're not?" Megan asked.

"Hell no! I can't do this myself! You guys are going to rough it out with me!" KT explained. No way in hell was she going to get through this herself.

"What are we supposed to tell our parents then?" Jackie asked.

"I donno. Make something up."

"I have work though." Jackie whined. Jackie hated working at IHOP but it was money so…whatever.

"I guess I can allow you to go into work." KT sighed.

"What are you a prison guard? Do we only get two minutes per phone call too?" Megan asked.

"Shut it. I just don't want to do this myself! I'll go insane!" KT pleaded with big puppy eyes. Megan sighed.

"Alright…it is kind of exciting anyways. Oh who am I kidding? It's awesome! I'm gonna go call my mom." She said as she wondered into the next room and dialed.

"Guess we better check on the guys." KT said. Jackie nodded and they both headed up the stairs. Nothing had really changed. Sephiroth was still messing around in the kitchen and the rest were occupied with trying to wrestle the TV remote from Cloud, as he would not settle on a station. Jackie and KT took a seat at the now clean kitchen table that smelt of Pledge.

"What do we do now?" Jackie asked. KT shrugged. Megan bounded back up the stairs and sat with KT and Jackie.

"She bought it." Megan sighed in relief.

"What did you tell her?" Jackie asked.

"Nothing really. Just that KT's parents weren't going to be around for 2 weeks and she didn't want to be by herself." She explained. KT nodded in approval.

"And we can always go to my house if we're bored." Megan added. Loz suddenly walked in through the front door. The girls stared in amazement. They didn't even notice that he had left in the first place. What was he? A ninja?

"Where were you?" KT asked.

"Out driving." He said. The girls glanced nervously at each other.

"And what were you driving?" Megan asked.

"Your car." He said. Megan looked thunderstruck.

"How could you do that? I only had enough gas to go home! Where on earth did you go?"

"I just drove around! Jeez get out of ma grill! And I took care of the gas problem!" He sighed irritably as he sat on the couch.

"What do you mean you took care of it? Where did you get $30 to pay for a full tank?" Megan asked now suspicious.

"I didn't pay for it."

"Who did?" KT asked.

"No one! I siphoned it." He said with a smirk. Megan then freaked out.

"Are you out of your mind?! You can't do that!"

"Well its too late. Don't doubt my skillz Homie! They'll never catch me!" he said as he quickly stood up and struck a ninja-esque pose. Megan groaned and let her head fall to the table surface with a clunk.

About an hour had passed and the girls were still sitting around being bored. The guys had finally settled on a TV station. Why they had settled on Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, the world may never know. But the show had ensnared them and now had them within its grasp. Sephiroth was making various comments through out the show and also voiced his opinions on some of the outfits.

"That is probably the weirdest thing that I have ever seen." Megan said as she idly twirled a loose hair around her finger.

"Same here. And yet I have this strange sensation to go shopping now." Jackie said. Sephiroth suddenly bolted upright and looked at the girls who were still sitting at the kitchen table, with the brightest grin he could muster and little stars in his eyes. Terrifying…

"Did I hear the word shopping?" he asked excitedly.

"No…you didn't." KT said trying to get out of shopping. Its not that she didn't want to go shopping…its just the fact they would be traveling with very well known video game characters that would most likely be a magnet for glomps from fangirls and even fanboys. And she was also trying to save her money, which wasn't working out very well.

"No I'm pretty sure that I did. We should go! It would be so much fun! I could pick out a whole new wardrobe for you just like on Queer Eye!" He said. The guys looked over at the girls. All of them seemed interested, excluding Yazoo, who didn't say anything.

"They would need new cloths anyway. They can't survive for however long they are here for with just the cloths on their backs." Megan said.

"And how do you expect to pay for all of this smart one?" KT asked Megan. "Do you have a spare $1,000 lying around because I sure as heck don't!"

"It'll be my treat! Don't worry about it." Sephiroth covered with a large smile.

"Where did you get money?" Jackie asked.

"I have my ways." He explained as he looked towards Loz. Loz nodded and smirked.

"You didn't rob a bank did you Loz?" KT asked suspiciously.

"Hey, hey, call me L-Dog. And no I did not." Loz, or rather, L-Dog said.

"I don't even want to know!" Megan said "But I'm in! How bout you guys?" She asked the KT and Jackie.

"Are you crazy?" KT asked.

"No I'm excited! I won't miss out on a chance to get free cloths!" she explained wildly, almost jumping up and down. Cloud was now right next to Megan and jumping down as well. KT sighed loudly and very dramatically.

"Fine. You win!"

"Squee!" Jackie, Megan, and Cloud said at the same time.

"Alright! First I need to see you're closet!" Sephiroth said. KT looked thunderstruck.

"Why?"

"I need to see what you're style looks like and what we can throw out." He said as he began to walk down the stairs towards KT's room.

Sephiroth stood at the brink of KT's messy closet. He opened the door and looked at her cloths. KT, Megan, and Jackie watched in fascination as he began to randomly grab cloths off their hangers and throw them over his shoulder.

"Fashion don't…satisfactory…AHH…ooh I like the fabric…nice…bad…" Sephiroth muttered as he threw the cloths around the room.

"Sephiroth what are you ARGH!" KT began but was silenced when a shirt smacked into her face.

"Call me Sephy." Sephiroth said, as he held up a shirt, unable to decide if he liked it or not.

"Ok…so Sephy, what are you planning on doing with all of these cloths?" KT asked as she picked up a shirt that she liked but had not been able to remain in her closet.

"We have to make room for all of the new cloths. Remember I'm giving you a make over. And you guys could use a little help yourselves." Sephy replied and was now motioning to Megan and Jackie.

"What's wrong with the way we dress?" Jackie asked as she looked down at herself.

"Well, you yourself aren't that bad. I like your play on colors. It's very individualized. You could liven up your look with a few colorful skirts or something." Sephiroth explained. Jackie beamed.

"Dear God…" KT sighed as her forehead face planted into her palm.

"And you my dear, you need to get more color into your wardrobe." He said now pointing to Megan.

"You haven't even seen what I have in my closet! And I'm wearing a purple shirt! That's color!" Megan complained. So she liked black! Black went with everything.

"True. You also need to individualize you're look. Is there a particular style that you have always wanted to try?" Sephy asked. Megan thought.

"Well…I always liked the layered look. I also like slightly punk-ish things. I usually have trouble finding long enough jeans because of my height though." Megan replied.

"That's good. That's a start. I can work with that." Sephiroth smiled.

"And what's wrong with my cloths?" KT asked, now sifting through the cloths that Sephy had thrown on the bed.

"There's no rhyme or reason to your closet. And you have the same problem as Megan. Get some color in!"

"I like to mix and match things! And I have so got color! Look!" she said as she held up a multi colored pin-striped shirt.

"It's missing over half its buttons and it has a big stain on it." He reasoned.

"Its not that hard to sew some buttons on! And all I have to do is take some OxyClean to the sucker!" KT defended one of her favorite shirts. Sephy sighed and shook his head.

"You guys are so stubborn. But lets get going I want to put my skills to the test!" He said as he grinned and clapped his hands twice and began to head up the stairs. KT suddenly realized something.

"Wait!" she cried out to him. Sephiroth turned to look at her.

"You guys can't go out looking like that!"

"Why not?"

"In this country, guy's don't go around flashing their chests at everybody!"

"What do you suggest?" Sephiroth asked boredly. KT thought for a minute, bolted up the stairs and into her parents room. Her step-dad Rich was going to have to donate a few cloths. Megan and Jackie followed her slowly and asked her what she was doing.

"Ok, Reno and Cloud should be ok in the cloths they have on. Cloud might want to take off his weird sleeve thing, the glove and that half cape though." She said as she pulled some t-shirts off some hangers.

"Sephy and Yazoo should be ok with the pants that they have on." KT continued.

"Vincent's boots and golden claw of doom could be a problem though." Jackie said.

"I still don't understand how he can walk in those boots though. He could seriously jack a bitch up with those." Megan said.

KT had figured out the clothing issue and the guys were now dressed and looking somewhat normal. Except for Vincent. They could not figure out how to cover up his claw so they just decided to hope that no one noticed it. They were now ready to embark. They stood outside in a group as KT locked the front door.

"Ok half of you with Megan, half with me!" Jackie said as she dug out her car keys. The group fanned out in the yard and began to walk towards the car.

"Shottie!" Vincent yelled. And he meant it…quite literally. To make sure that he claimed the front passenger seat, he took out Cerberus and fired a couple shots into the door of Megan's Malibu.

"VINCENT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Megan shrieked. He didn't answer as he opened the now mangled door and slid in. Megan seethed for a moment as she dug around for her keys.

"It looks like I got in a fight with the Oakdale Mob!" Megan complained, now worried at how she would explain them to her parents.

"Maybe…maybe you can pass them off as those bullet hole decals?" KT supplied as she walked towards Jackie's car. As KT slid into the back of Jackie's car, she was amazed to find herself sitting next to…Jackie?

"What are you doing back here? Aren't you supposed to be driving?" KT asked as Reno seated himself next to her.

"Sephiroth insisted. There is no way I'm going to stand up to him when he has a 7ft sword in his possession." Jackie said. Meanwhile, Megan was distressed to find that she could not find her keys.

"Looking for these?" Loz suddenly called from her car as he held up her keys.

'_When did he get those? I was sure that I had them in my pocket the entire time.'_ Megan thought as she walked closer to her car.

"Good you found 'em. Here." She said as she held out her hand so he could throw them to her. He didn't though. Instead he simply slid into the driver's seat and started the car. Megan walked over to the driver's side and knocked on the window. Loz rolled it down.

"What do you think you're doing? I'm supposed to be the one driving." She said.

"Not today homie. By the way, you're ride has a sweet base system."

"It doesn't have a base system. It's the same stereo that it came with 2 years ago from the dealer." Megan explained. Loz rolled up the window to piss Megan off, while Cloud, who was in the backseat with Kadaj, rolled down his.

"Come sit with us Me-san." He said cheerily. Megan huffed but slid in next to them. Megan watched partially in horror as Sephiroth turned Jackie's little white car around and began to drive off. Did he even know where he was going?

"Follow Sephy!" Megan said.

"Word playa!" L-Dog said as he floored the car and did a quick 180-degree turn.

"Oh my god I am going to die!" Megan said as she clutched onto the door for dear life. Kadaj patted her comfortingly on the shoulder.

So with Sephiroth, Reno, Yazoo, KT, and Jackie in Jackie's car and L-Dog, Cloud, Vincent, Kadaj, and Megan in Megan's car, the trek to the mall began. Feel free to pity Jackie, Megan, and KT when you have the time.

* * *

**No cars were harmed in the making of this chapter. So i have a little contest for you guys. Any of you wanna take a guess at what the guys' mental problems are? Some are really obvious while others havnt really been seen yet so think outside the box. so anyways on turkey day, i got into a nerf gun fight with a bunch of guys. it ws friggen awesome! i made a great sniper and a double agent! no one could tell which side i was on!! bwahahaha. this week i have also begun to draw a xmas comic that involves our precious sephy kins. i never thought that i would hear sephy kins and xmas in the same sentance. terrifying. ill let u know how it goes. i also attempted to jump over a very large excerise ball last weekend. i dont recommend it. i didnt land as gracefully as i would have liked...lol it was really funny though!**


	8. Of Misadventures at the Mall PART 1

**I'M UPDATEING ON MY BDAY Y'ALL!! i am now 19!!!!! goodness gracious lol. only 3 more days till i have to go back to stout so i am desperatly clutching onto my freedom. but yea anyways i think i have cabin fever. all of this damn snow does this to me. i hate driving in snow. i dont think i was meant to live in MN. I'm more equipped for milder temperatures like the 60's. Anyways, i had to seperate this chapter into 2 parts cuz its super long and full of mayhem! enjoy!!**

* * *

**  
Chapter 8: Of Misadventures at the Mall PART 1**

They had been driving for maybe a grand total of 10 minutes when Cloud suddenly piped up.

"I'm hungry." He said simply. L-Dog looked at him through the rearview mirror.

"We'll eat when we get to the mall playa." He said. Cloud pouted. Kadaj's stomach growled. Megan looked back forth between the guys.

"I'm hungry." Cloud said again.

"Are we there yet?" Kadaj asked. Vincent sighed. While Megan suffered through the boredom in her car, Jackie's car was having a rip roaring good time. Jackie was leading everybody in a sing a long.

"Its peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly! Peanut butter jelly!" she sang loudly. Eventually the whole car was singing.

Eventually, they made it to the mall in one piece. They all filtered out of the cars and began to walk towards the building. Jackie and KT were walking behind the guys and pulled Megan back to join them. Megan looked at them confused.

"What are we going to do? If someone recognizes them, we'll be screwed!" KT finally said. Jackie sighed.

"We'll just have to hope that no one does. Maybe we can pass them off as really good cosplayers."

"That won't fool everybody. If the fangirls catch sight of any of them, I have a feeling that they won't make it out alive." KT replied.

"We can take them!! We can beat them with our fists!" Megan chimed. KT rolled her eyes.

"Your stupidity astounds me."

"Or we could have Sephiroth meteor them." Megan suggested again.

"Sephy probably won't do that since he is no longer bent on the destruction of this planet." KT said, effectively shoving Megan's suggestion back in her face. Before they were able to discuss it further, they had reached the entrance to the mall.

"Well where to first?" Reno asked.

"I'm hungry!" Cloud piped up. There was a collective role of the eyes.

"How 'bout we split up?" Kadaj suggested.

"Why?" Jackie asked.

"I don't want to be there when Sephy gives KT a make over." Kadaj replied. Megan nodded. Even though she would love to torture her friend, she wanted to look at other things.

"Word." Loz agreed. The rest agreed except for Yazoo, who didn't say anything. Poor little emo kid.

"Lets go then honey!" Vincent suddenly chimed as he reached for the closest of the girls' wrist. Which happened to be Megan's. Megan looked horrified as Vincent began to drag her away and began to chat about various things.

"I never want to hear him say honey again. Poor Trisha-san." KT said using Megan's nickname.

"I'll follow them to make sure he doesn't try anything." Kadaj smiled cheerfully as he walked off after them.

"You!" Sephiroth suddenly said as he pointed obnoxiously at KT.

"Me?"

"Yes you! By the time I'm done with you, you will be America's Next Top Model!" he said as he dragged her off.

"Not if I can help it!" L-Dog suddenly yelled as he began to follow them. Jackie raised a brow.

"Where are you going?" she called after him.

"I aint gonna let that pretty boy get all the glory!" L-Dog yelled back as he stalked out of sight, following KT and Sephy.

"Guess that leaves me with you guys." Jackie said as she turned back to Reno, Yazoo, and Cloud.

"So what do you want to do first?" Reno asked.

"IM HUNGRY!" Cloud yelled, making sure that everyone was paying attention to him.

"Ok, ok just stop yelling. Do you guys mind if we get something to eat first?" Jackie asked.

"Whatever." Reno replied. Yazoo simply shrugged.

"How come your so quiet Yazoo? Is something wrong?" Jackie asked, becoming concerned.

"My life is a swirling void of apathy." He said simply. Jackie stared at him while the others just looked around. A sympathetic smile slowly spread across Jackie's face.

"Awww! Poor little emo kid! He needs a hug!" She said as she approached him with outstretched arms. Yazoo didn't do anything and simply let himself be hugged by Jackie, and soon Cloud as well. Reno could have cared less. With that, they walked off to the food court.

* * *

Megan was walking rather uncomfortably in between Kadaj and Vincent. The worst part was that for some reason, Vincent wouldn't let go of her hand. 

"Is there any particular reason that you are holding my hand? If you think that this some date or something, you are sorely mistaken!" Megan said.

"Just makin' sure that you don't go anywhere baby." He explained. Megan scrunched her face and wrenched her hand out from his and stepped around Kadaj so that she was on the outside, away from Vincent. At the moment, Kadaj seemed like one of the only sane ones of the group. Him and Reno had not shown any drastic personality changes…yet.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure he doesn't do anything." Kadaj said as he clapped her on the back with probably a little more force than necessary. Megan pitched forward and barely caught herself.

"So where do you want to go?" Kadaj asked as he looked around. Megan thought for a minute.

"Well, I have just enough money to get my ear pierced again." She said as she pointed to her right ear. She wanted another cartilage piercing to accompany the first one. The guys nodded and followed her to Claire's.

Megan was extremely surprised to see who was working there at the moment. It was her cousin Jackie!

"Jackie?" she asked. The brunette looked up from her post at the cash register.

"Hey what's up cuz?" she asked excitedly.

"I didn't know that you worked here!"

"Yup! I'm manager." Jackie replied. Vincent suddenly nudged Megan a little.

"Who's the hottie?" He asked with a grin. Megan gave him a look but introduced them anyway.

"Jackie this is Vincent and…Kenny. Guys this is Jackie. She's my cousin. And guess what dear cousin of mine! You get to punch a hole in my ear!"

"Sweet! Let me get the papers and junk." She said as she ducked down to locate the consent form.

"Kenny?" Kadaj asked.

"Kadaj isn't a popular name around. Just play along. And Vincent, stay away from her. She has a boyfriend." Megan pointed out. Vincent visibly sulked.

"No nipple piercing this time?" Jackie asked with a chuckle. Megan made a disgusted face.

"Nnnnno!" Megan said simply. "And its not like I had it done before anyways! And your not going to faint if I start bleeding are you?" Jackie's face grew a bit pink as she relived the one time that she had fainted when she pierced someone's ear and it bled everywhere. She did not like to talk about it.

"I should shoot you in your dang eye with my piercing gun for that!" she said as she thrust the clipboard into Megan's hands.

Megan emerged from Claire's a few minutes later with a new hole in her ear and was quite happy to get out of the store. Jackie had taken it upon herself to ramble off a few embarrassing stories concerning Megan and also prattled on about 'Kenny' and Vincent being her boyfriends. Kadaj said that he would use them for black mail later.

"My turn to pick the place!" Vincent said as he walked one of the directories. He looked for a few minutes before he began to walk off in a random direction. Megan and Kadaj looked at each other before they slowly followed him. They ended up standing outside of a piercing parlor.

"Why on earth are we here? If you wanted your ears pierced, you could have gotten them pierced at Claire's." Megan said. Vincent didn't say a word as he walked in with a smirk on his face.

"I don't like where this is going." Megan said as she crossed her arms over her chest and walked in.

"Me either." Kadaj agreed as he followed.

* * *

Sephiroth, Loz, and KT stood outside of Forever 21. KT was adamant about not going into that store. 

"What's wrong with this place? It's got plenty of things that you can mix and match. And plenty of color too. So we'll both be satisfied!" he said with a smile.

"Um yeah about that Sephy, I am not a prep. Nor am I a size 5 like many of the things in there." KT said as she pointed angrily in there. Loz was also hesitant to go in there.

"Dude this is the wrong side of the tracks yo. Let's find somewhere else. Like Echo Red or somethin'." L-Dog said.

"I am not going to Echo Red." Sephiroth and KT said at the same time. They looked at each other quickly.

"Jinx you owe me a Starbucks!" Sephiroth said before had KT had the chance to jinx him. KT pulled a face.

'_Great! Now I have to get him coffee. I'm sure that he stays perfectly normal when injected with caffeine._' KT thought sarcastically. They bickered a little more about what store they wanted to go. Finally, they looked to KT to decide.

"Its either Hot Topic…"she started but stopped when she looked at the guys' faces. They both had looks of absolute horror.

"I am not letting you turn into a Goth. You are not going into that satanic store!" Sephiroth spat. How dare he diss Hot Topic!

"Word yo!" L-Dog complied.

"Will you let me finish? I was going to say Hot Topic or Kohls." KT growled.

"Kohls it is!" Sephiroth said as he began to drag her away with Loz falling instep next to him.

"Why can't you go find Megan or Jackie? They are more fashonista than I am!" KT grumbled as they passed her beloved Hot Topic.

"I want! I want!" She whimpered as she reached her hand out in the direction of the store.

"Maybe if you're a good girl, we'll go later." Sephy said. That sounds so wrong.

Kohls had its doors wide open for the eager men and less than excited KT.

"Ok…lets get started. First, color. I would say shades of red, green, and more earthy tones would go with your skin tone. Also look for patterns." Sephy explained as he began to browse the racks. Loz had a different opinion.

"Don't listen to anything he says. It doesn't matter what it has on it. All that matters is how much space there is and how much bling you got. Ya dig?" Loz said. (**Sorry don't know much 'bout gangsta cloths lol). **

"No I don't really dig." KT chuckled. Just hearing Loz talk like that was enough to make anybody laugh. Sephy came back a few minutes later with a mound of cloths and shoved them into KT's hands. KT wasn't ready at all and instead dropped them all. They all looked silently and the pile of fabric on the floor as if waiting for someone else to pick them up. One of the items finally caught KT's eye and she hesitantly bent down to pick it up.

"What's this?" she asked as she held it up for all to see. Sephiroth sighed.

"It's called a dress."

'_NO! Dresses are bad! They're not my friends! Dresses bad! Pants good! Must avoid wearing this at all costs.'_ KT inwardly panicked.

"What do I do with it?" She asked as she tried her best to hide her smile. Sephiroth rolled his eyes.

"You wear it."

"It's against my religion and also my code of ethics!" KT said loudly as L-Dog piled up the cloths and shoved them in KT's hands.

"The sooner you try these on, the sooner we can ge' outta here!" Loz complained. KT pulled another face and hesitantly walked to the dressing rooms.

"It's not like your marching to your death!" Sephy called as he absentmindedly thumbed through the hangers on the racks.

KT grumbled as she looked over the cloths that Sephy-kins had picked out. Most of them weren't bad. It appeared that Sephy actually had very good fashion sense…though some of the outfits he wore himself suggested otherwise. She turned to look at herself in the mirror and examine one of outfits that she now wore.

"That looks nice." A voice behind her said. Immediately she thought it was Sephiroth and whipped around, ready to smack him. Instead, she was greeted by the sight of everyone's favorite 'dead lady' as Cloud so eloquently put it.

"Aerith! You scared me!" KT said as she placed a hand over her racing heart.

"Sorry about that but that really does look very nice on you." She said as she smiled warmly.

"You think so? Oh never mind I know there has to be a reason that you are here."

"Right you are. I have just come to tell you that I have a feeling that one of the men will be lapsing back into their original personalities soon." She explained. KT looked thunderstruck.

"WHAT?! WHEN?" KT basically yelled. Aerith was about to answer when Sephiroth interrupted.

"Everything alright in there?" he asked from outside. KT cringed as she tried to think of something.

"Yes. Just talking to myself." She said. Aerith sweatdropped.

"I don't know when but have your guard up. I also don't know who it will be." Aerith explained as she hovered just near the door.

"Well…it can't be that bad…right?" KT asked uncertainly, now twisting her a small tendril of hair.

"That depends. If it's Cloud or one of the Turks, I'm sure you'll have no problem. But you may have some problems if its one of the Remnants or Sephiroth." Aerith said, now fiddling with the end of her braid. KT whimpered.

"I took on Sephiroth once. I think I can do it again."

"Maybe. But just remember, it may have been cute when he was small. But it isn't nearly as cute when he is full sized with murderous intent in his eyes. Trust me I would know." Aerith explained.

"Cause nothing says friendship like being stabbed through the stomach." KT said, slightly laughing at her little joke.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." Aerith said as she laughed along with her.

"Ok so how long do these lapses last?" KT asked. Aerith turned serious once again.

"Sadly that all depends on Zack." KT was silent as her eye twitched.

"Damn you Zack!" she said in a harsh whisper. Aerith gave her a pity smile.

"I trust that you will tell the other girls. I would refrain from telling the boys because…well I just don't think that they could handle something this complex in the state that they are in."

"Don't I know it."

"Alright well I wish you the best of luck. I will be back if there are any developments." She said before disappearing into an explosion of flower petals again. KT looked at the petals as they fluttered to the ground.

"Hmm…daisies. Ok shut it! You've more important junk to think about. Like who's gonna become schizophrenic and completely lose it! Ten bucks says its Kadaj." KT said quietly told herself so that Sephy and L-Dog wouldn't hear.

"Are you almost done in there?" Sephy called.

"Yes! I'm on my way out." She lied as she gathered the cloths, intentionally leaving the dress behind. The way she saw it, it was best that Kohls did not have a mass murdering general, thankfully without his obnoxiously long sword, running rampant. Even though he was weaponless, he could still pwn their asses by meteoring them.

'_Ok just hurry up and find the others so we can get out of here!' _she thought.

"So what do you think of my impressive skills?" Sephy asked.

"It's very nice. I actually like it." She said truthfully. Loz grumbled as many of selections had been shot down.

"Don't worry L-Dog. You can pimp me out with bling-bling." KT said. Might as well try to make him happy.

"Tight yo!" he said as he gave her another gang symbol with his fingers. KT chuckled as he bolted out of the store, probably off to Echo Red or someplace where they sold bling.

* * *

Jackie, Cloud, Yazoo, and Reno had made it to the food court without incident. Cloud was being as hyper and random as ever. 

"What do you want to eat Cloud?" Jackie asked.

"Ooo Burger King! They have those cool gold crowns and plus toys come with the fo--! Hey that lady has a mustache!" he suddenly said as he pointed at a random person.

"That's a man Cloud." Reno said.

"Really? Doesn't look like-! How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?" he spouted randomly. Jackie was left entirely speechless.

"I-I have no idea." She replied, exasperated. He had been doing this ever since they quested after the food court. She decided that his new name was going to be 20-Second Cloud since his attention span only lasted about 20 seconds.

They got their orders and walked over to a table to eat. Cloud was extremely happy that he had one of those kids meal crowns and that it was now perched in its rightful place on his head. He got it his way…snerk! That was a shameless use of Burger King's slogan lol. About 15 minutes past before Cloud piped up again.

"I'm still hungry." Jackie should have figured that a man that skinny would have the metabolism of a chipmunk. She looked to Reno for his say in this. Turns out that Reno was not paying attention in the least bit. Instead he was doing something that probably wasn't very hygienic. He was licking the small area of skin between his thumb and index finger and rubbing it across the side of his face as if he was cleaning himself. He did this repeatedly.

"Da fuck?" Jackie said quietly as she watched in astonishment.

"Hey! Reno looks like a cat!" 20-Second Cloud suddenly said.

"Very true." Jackie replied. "If that's the case, I hope that he doesn't try to lick his crotch." Cloud snickered.

"I'm still hungry."

"What do you want?"

"Cinnabon sounds pretty awesome." Reno suddenly said finally stopping his cleaning.

"Yay!" Cloud cheered.

"Alright alright lets go." Jackie sighed as she got up and pushed her chair in.

'_Is giving 20-Second Cloud sugar safe?'_ she thought to herself as they walked over.

* * *

"Vincent can you please tell me what you're doing?" Megan asked as she watched Vincent talk to a man with a lot of piercings and tattoos. 

"You'll see." He said with a smirk. Kadaj wasn't paying attention but was instead looking across the way at the arcade.

"Hey I'm going to go over there to the arcade ok?" Kadaj suddenly said as he began to walk over.

"What? You're leaving me alone with him?!" I asked loudly as I jabbed my thumb back towards Vincent. RAWR I ARE THE VAMPIRE waved at Kadaj pleasantly. **(Hehe that was a trademark saying from Passe on an Angle. Her story kicks ass! Go read it!!)**

"You'll be fine. Plus there are plenty of witnesses so you can just yell sexual harassment or something." Kadaj said as he walked into the arcade.

"That is pure evil!" Megan replied.

"Are you ready dude?" The dude, lets just say his name is Ben, behind the counter said. Vincent nodded with a smirk on his face.

"Vinnie! What are you doing?" Megan asked as she decided to follow them as they walked off to a back room. They stopped just outside a room when Ben turned to Megan.

"Do you want your girlfriend to watch?" He asked.

"I AM NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND!" Megan yelled. Ben stepped back.

"She can watch all she wants." Vincent smiled. Ben nodded and motioned for them to follow him into the room.

"Have a seat." He told Vincent.

"Are you getting injected with heroin or something?" Megan asked dumbly. The two men ignored her. Ben pulled on some latex gloves and reached for a gun looking thing. It finally clicked.

"What on earth are you getting pierced?" Megan cried. She watched as Vincent suddenly took off his shirt. Megan's eyes boggled.

'_O…GAWD! Vinnie is taking his shirt off…hot damn!'_ Megan thought. Ben broke her train of thought.

"Excuse me. Your nose is bleeding." He said as he handed her a Kleenex. Megan indeed felt something akin to snot drip from her nose but figured it was obviously blood.

'_ZOMG my first bishi nosebleed! Squee!'_ Megan said as she put the Kleenex to her nose. She watched as Ben came closer to Vincent's chest with the little piercing gun thing. It finally clicked.

"Tell me you are not getting your nipple pierced!" Megan cried through the tissue. Vincent looked at her with a smirk.

"I'm telling you don't do it! Vincent! Don't…and you did." Megan finished as she now saw a silver hoop through Vincent's right nipple. Vincent looked extremely pleased.

"And you are done!" Ben said proudly.

"Sweet. Do you want yours done too?" Vincent asked Megan.

"Oh god no!" Megan said as she gave a few hysteric laughs. Vincent shrugged.

"Your loss." He said as he put his t-shirt back on.

"Yeah whatever I'm gonna go find Kadaj." Megan quickly said as she discarded her Kleenex and walked out the door.

"He is going to be one unhappy vampire if he ever lapses back or returns to his normal self." Megan said to herself as she entered the arcade. She looked around trying to find the youngest of the SHM.

She walked aimlessly around the large arcade without so much as a sighting of Kadaj. Suddenly, her gaze fell upon a large group of people that were cheering and huddled around something. It appeared that they had congregated around DDR.

'_Not surprising.'_ Megan thought as she approached. She could barely see over the wall of people so she tapped the man closest to her on the shoulder.

"What's going on?" she asked. The man turned to her with a big smile.

"That guy up there is like the all time champ or something. He keeps winning and no one can beat him. He just got the highest score!" he replied before he returned to his cheering. Megan couldn't help but be impressed. Megan stood on her tiptoes to get a better look at the dancing champ.

"Kadaj?!" She yelped. Yes indeed. Kadaj was DDR-ing and he was pwning his opponent.

'_Why is that guy wearing a kilt? I hope to god that he does not plan on twirl-! Oh god he twirled! My eyes! Don't wear tighty whites when you plan on wearing a kilt!'_ Megan thought as she observed Kadaj's opponant. The song ended a few minutes later, Kadaj ending up with a AAA.

"Damn! That's impressive!" Megan thought as the crowd cheered.

"I'll say!" a voice to Megan's left said. Megan turned quickly to see Vincent standing there.

"Gah! Don't do that! That slow creepy thing in the shadows!"

"I wasn't in the shadows."

"Anyone else want to try and beat me?" Kadaj suddenly asked the crowd. There were a few murmurs as he scanned the crowd, trying to find the next victim. Guess who he saw.

"Oooooooohh Megan!" he said with a sadistic grin. The whole crowd turned to look her way and seemed to part so she could walk up. Megan didn't move.

"Me?"

"Yes you come on! Give me a challenge!"

"No! Pick Vincent!" Megan said as she pointed at Vincent.

"Do you really think he can with those huge ass shoes of his?" Kadaj asked as he crossed his arms. Everyone looked down at his pointy shoes.

"S'pose not."

"Good then get up here."

"I don't wanna!" Megan complained. But she didn't have any choice as Vincent actually picked her up and took her up there himself.

"GRAH! I will get you Vincent!" Megan yelled when she was put down on the DDR mat.

"Save your frustrations for the bed then." Vincent replied slyly. Megan quickly grabbed her cell phone and whipped it at his head.

"Shut up and play!" Kadaj said as he picked the song Love Love Shine.

* * *

"Ok you need some hot shoes." Sephiroth said as he dragged KT to Payless Shoes. 

"You probably won't find them in here." KT replied. "You would be better off staying in Kohls for that."

"Nonsense. Now what size do you wear?"

"11."

"Alright Bigfoot follow me." Sephiroth said with a grin.

"Don't make fun of my feet!" she said as she dragged the Kohls bag with her.

'_Hurry up and finish Sephy, I gotta tell the others about the lapse thing! And where did L-Dog get off to?'_ KT thought. As if on cue, Loz bounded into the store…or at least, tried to.

"How d' you like my new threads?" he asked. KT and Sephiroth looked him over. L-Dog had a huge black t-shirt on that almost reached his knees and big baggy jeans that appeared to make the wearer unable to travel the stairs safely. Now you can't forget the bling. L-Dog had three long platinum chains that hung from his neck. One had a dollar sign, another said Bling-Bling, and another said Word. He also had a silver doo-rag on his head. KT and Sephy smiled nervously and sweatdropped.

"That's tight yo!" KT lied as Sephy simply smiled. Loz beamed.

"What the? Are those gold caps on your teeth?" KT asked as she stared at L-Dog's teeth.

"Word."

"Erm….nice." KT said again.

"Word. Here's your stuff." Loz said as he handed her a bag. KT opened it up and looked inside. A few bling-blings, 2 doo-rags, and some teeth caps.

"Thanks dog." KT chuckled nervously.

"Peace out."

"Here try these." Sephiroth interrupted. He thrust a shoe box into KT's hands. Inside, was a pair of red pumps.

"Now where on earth am I going to wear these? And these are like 6-inch heels! Do you want me to break my neck?" KT asked as she examined one. Sephiroth sighed and yanked the box out of her hands.

"Fine. Honestly you are as stubborn as a damn mule. What about these?" He asked as he pulled a box from the shelf. Inside were some ballet flats. KT made a face but decided to try them on anyway. She was surprised to find that they were actually very comfortable.

"Oooo these are nice!" She replied. Sephiroth clapped twice.

"Great! Let's go then!" he beamed as he led her to the check out. While Sephy was paying, KT took out her cell phone and called Jackie first. KT told her the situation and told them to meet her at the fountain. She moved on to calling Megan next. It rang twice.

"_Hello?"_ a male voice answered.

"Me-san! Wait who is this?"

"_Vincent."_

"Vincent? What are you doing with Megan's phone?"

"_She threw it at my head."_

"You probably deserved it. Put Megan on."

"_She can't."_

"Why."

"_She and Kadaj are DDR-ing."_

"Ooook…then meet us at the fountain when they're done."

"Will do." Vincent replied. With that, KT hung up and began to drag Sephiroth and L-Dog to the fountain.

* * *

Jackie and KT were now at the fountain and were now waiting patiently for Megan, Kadaj, and Vincent. To pass the time, 20-Second Cloud had stolen L-Dog's doo-rag and was now trying to fit it over his hair. Since Cloud's hair defies all gravity and the laws of physics and perhaps Murphy's Law, it did not go well. Reno mean while was refusing to go anywhere near the fountain. He was now simply standing a good 10 feet away. Yazoo was off being emo near a fake Ficus plant, and Sephiroth just seemed to be in his own little world. 

"Here they come. Trisha-san!" Jackie waved as Megan approached. Megan looked quite miffed while both of the guys behind her looked proud of themselves.

"What's with you?" KT asked.

"She's just mad that she only walked away with a B on Standard while I got a AAA on Challenge." Kadaj explained. Great Scott I didn't even know that kind of DDR perfection was possible!

"Oh and she's also mad that Vincent got a nipple ring." There was stunned silence.

"Vincent? Please tell me he's kidding!" KT groaned. Vincent shook his head and shamelessly lifted his shirt so that everyone could see his new accessory.

"Do you girls want to play with it?" he asked with a wink.

"No…no thanks." Jackie stuttered, completely red in the face. Cloud had now returned to the little group and seemed to be twitching.

"What's wrong with him?" Megan asked Jackie.

"He had-!"

"SUGAR!" Cloud yelled. "I LOVE SUGAR!" Sephiroth suddenly turned to Cloud.

"You can smother me in sugar you big, dirty man." He said with a wink.

"Oooooh my god!" KT whined as her forehead face planted into her palm. Cloud didn't seem to notice and climbed up on a bench.

"IF ALL THE RAINDROPS WERE LEMON DROPS AND GUMDROPS OH WHAT A RAIN IT WOULD BE! STANDING OUTSIDE WITH MY MOUTH OPEN WIDE! AH! AH-AH-AH! AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AAAAAHHHHHH! IF ALL THE RAINDROPS WERE LEMON DROPS AND GUM DROPS OH WHAT A RAIN THAT WOULD BE!" Cloud sang loudly. While he continued his little talent show before being distracted by a shiny sequin that had fallen on the floor, Megan noticed L-Dog's new cloths.

"Nice cloths Loz." Megan said.

"Word to your mother!" Loz grinned.

"Where my domesticated canines at?" Megan said as she gave a gang sign **(nother saying from Passe lol).** KT sighed and shook her head.

"K well I have to tell Megan and Jackie something. So you guys just chat amongst yourselves for a few minutes." KT explained as she beckoned Jackie and Megan away from the guys.

"What's up?" Megan asked, regaining her carefree attitude.

"Aerith told me that one of the guys is going to have a lapse soon."

"Do we know who or when?" Jackie asked.

"No."

"How long will it last?" Jackie asked.

"Do you realize that it sounds like we are talking about periods?" Megan said. She was almost as bad as Cloud. KT smacked her upside the head.

"No. Sadly they are at the mercy of Zack. This is going to be a pain." KT replied.

"Should we grab some Midol?" Megan asked, still on her little period tangent, which she herself thought terribly funny.

"What is your problem?!" Jackie yelled as she smacked Megan upside the head like KT had done before.

"Damn you Zack! Well in that case we should-!" Jackie began but was interrupted by and blood curdling scream! The girls stopped their discussion and looked at the guys. All were accounted for. Except…

"Where's Sephiroth?" KT whimpered.

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**AHA my first cliff hanger!!!! And let me tell u its not like u think it is either. lets all blame Zack! lol. ive got plans for the 2nd part of the mall adventures and am already working on typing it!! hoo-ha. Have any of u seen the Saiyuki season? If so, do any of u think that Zenon (machine gun dude) is a kindred spirit to axel or reno? i do. i also think that Professor Ni's voice is beyond creepy. so i went to florida for a week wit my family. on our way back, i was a suspected terrorist at the florida airport! not really but my back pack set off the little thingy and it had to be searched and i had to be pat-frisked! my brother also had is Axe shower gel confiscated. I dont know y my brother uses Axe...hes only 8...**


	9. Of MIsadventures at the Mall PART 2

**_WASSAT?!?!?! IT'S REJOINED THE LIVING AFTER ALMOST A YEAR! Seriously, inspiration suddenly hit me like a bus! Read on!_**

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**Chapter 9: Of Misadventures at the Mall PART 2**

The girls looked around franticly.

"Shit where is he?" Jackie asked aloud. KT finally spotted him.

"NOOOOOOOO! We were almost home free!" she cried dramatically as she fell onto her knees for good measure. All the guys looked over to him. More screaming near Sephiroth's general area.

"What the hell?" Reno asked with a peculiar look. Megan decided to add to the theatrics.

"FANGIRLS….AND WHAT LOOKS TO BE A FANBOY!" she cried. Yes indeed. Sephiroth was dealing with the worst kind of enemy…rabid fangirls. And in this case a few rabid fanboys.

"What do we do?" Jackie asked as she watched a girl pull on Sephy's hair.

"Run for the hills?" Megan suggested.

"Just stop talking." KT replied with a scowl. Megan took offence.

"I was only suggesting. No need to get snarky." She said.

"We need like a distraction or something." Jackie said.

"I say we just go in there and beat them down." Megan said. She was not kidding this time.

"Well we need to think of something fast! We can't just leave him to fend for himself!" KT said as she racked her brain.

"Oh my god its that hot dude from whassat-game!" One pointed at Cloud.

"SQUEE! Its Cloud!" another screeched, taking notice of the others. Squee-ing is a sport I will have you know. Some more girls joined the fray and now barreled towards Cloud, who was stupidly waving at them. Megan thought quickly and ran in front of Cloud to block him.

"This is not Cloud! He's just a Cosplayer!" she yelled as she held out her hands. Megan began to panic when the rabid herd didn't show signs of slowing down.

"Megan really is an idiot. NO ONE can withstand rabid fangirls." KT said. This was proven when the front most fangirl pelted a shoebox at Megan. It hit her smack dab in the middle of the forehead and she crumpled to the ground.

"See! She's dead!" KT said. She lazily sorrow-ed for a second before brushing it off.

"RUN CLOUD RUN!" Jackie screamed. Ah yes…another shameless use of a quote (Forrest Gump).

"Why?" he asked as he was savagely glomped.

"We'll give you candy!" KT yelled. Cloud's eyes sparkled as he began to sprint around, fangirls trampling poor citizens to get to him.

"Can I have candy too?" Megan suddenly asked. She was standing safely next to Yazoo.

"Me-san? How on earth did you get out of that mess?" Jackie asked.

"Cloud kinda pushed me aside with his foot and then Yazoo pulled me out and here I am!" She explained, secretly thanking her lucky stars.

"RENO!"

"Great more of them!" Jackie complained.

"VINCENT!"

"Marco!" Megan yelled.

"Polo!" Kadaj suddenly yelled back as he ran from his own harassers.

"Guys! We need a plan!" KT yelled, bringing them back to attention.

"I seriously think we should just run for it!" Jackie said as they watched Sephiroth. Sephiroth was now swatting at the fruitloops with his man purse…that had magically appeared, compliments of the life stream.

"Awww I wanted to go to Tomodachi!" Megan whined, referring to the only anime merchandise store within a 50-mile radius of their houses.

"Maybe if we live to see another day." KT said.

"No seriously maybe we can hide in there." Megan said.

"Wait! I got a better idea! Lets offer Megan up for a sacrifice to appease the gods of fandoms everywhere!" Jackie said. Megan paled.

"I think our best bet is to hide in the carousel." KT said.

"I'm all for it but how do we get the guys on there. In case you havn't noticed, their trying to not contract STDs at the moment! And I still think the sacrifice idea is a winner!" Jackie said.

"Maybe we can announce a 90% off sale at Clairs or Hot Topic?" KT suggested.

"Sounds good." Megan chirped.

"I like to whisper too!" Cloud suddenly said, joining their huddle.

"Cloud? Where'd the loonies go?" KT asked. Cloud pointed behind them and the girls turned to look before they were all steamrolled by a rabid group of girls.

KT was the first to recover.

"Ok. Megan go to Claire's and tell them to announce a sale."

"What? Why me?"

"Didn't you say your cousin works there or something? I'm sure you can pull a few strings and get her to go along with it."

"But-!"

"Every second you waste, god kills a bishi!!" Jackie yelled as she pointed at Sephiroth, who just got his shirt ripped off. Megan thought for a minute, stomped her foot, and agreed.

"Fine. I'll think of the bishies!" She growled as she darted off towards Claires. As Megan finagled with her cousin, KT and Jackie just kinda shuffled their feet.

"Well…should we help them?" KT asked. Jackie shrugged.

"I donno. What could we do? We don't have the manpower. You wait here. I'll go get the tickets for the stupid carousel." She said as she sped off. KT nervously bounced on the balls of her feet as she waited for their plan to be set in motion. Jackie came back with the tickets and handed one to Sephiroth as he ran by. He snatched it and continued running. Megan ran back, out of breath.

"Did you get her to do it?"

"I had to give her the Abercrombie and Fitch gift card I never used but she's going to do it in about…" she explained as she looked at an invisible watch on her wrist, "5…4…3…2…1!"

"Attention shoppers, Claire's is having a 90 percent off sale for the next fifteen minutes only. I repeat 90 percent off for the next 15 minutes." The intercom suddenly stated. Some of the fan girls stopped running as their attention was snagged by bargains. They slowly broke off from the larger group and began to meander their way over to Claire's.

"Everybody go to Claire's! Fun and adventure await!" Jackie advertised as she motioned in the store's general direction.

"Remind your cousin that she totally rocks." KT sighed in relief as Sephiroth finally didn't have any followers and was able to return. Jackie quickly grabbed Yazoo by the arm and dragged him to the carousel where they waited in line nervously. The rest of the gang was still running around the mall like chickens with their heads cut off from the groupies. Where was mall security when you needed it?

Megan and KT meanwhile were trying to beat the fans away as best they could. KT however was having trouble as she had hit a goth fan and managed to punch a spike on the girl's necklace which resulted in her currently bleeding hand. Megan had managed to trip some of the Reno hunters and make it look like an accident.

Vincent wasn't running as fast as he could have. In fact I can safely say that he enjoyed the attention. But he did notice the rest of the group's distress and basically ran into Claire's, hoping to lose them amongst all the shiny and sparkly things. It was a success and he walked out positively beaming.

"Guys come on! It's our turn!" Jackie called as the dude took her and Yazoo's ticket. The passed through the gate and hung near the side as they watched L-Dog, Kadaj, Sephiroth, Reno, Vincent, Cloud, KT, and Megan bolt for the ticket booth. KT and Megan pretty much threw their tickets at the dude and hopped the fence, not bothering to wait in line. The guys followed their example as the dude somehow managed to block whatever fan girls had followed them. The group quickly hopped on some random animals.

Out of all of them, Cloud and Megan looked the most excited to be on it. Megan eagerly pretended she was the jockey of her Zebra while Cloud mimicked her on his Reindeer. Yazoo, L-Dog, and Vincent had decided to be boring and were simply sitting in those carriage thingies while the rest of the group were aboard animals of some kind.

"Alright what's the plan guys?" KT asked. "We have to be stealth like and get out of here." She adjusted herself on the brown cat so she could see the group. Jackie tapped her chin with her finger as she tried to think. However the up and down motion made it difficult along with the silly carnival music.

"How about we jump off and hop the fence when we're behind the large center post?" Sephiroth suggested. He looked positively stupid sitting on the elephant he had chosen. They were silent as they thought it over.

"I like it. Easy enough for those idiots" she motioned up to Cloud and Megan who were frequently switching animals, "to understand." The group quickly ran over the plan and then had to drag a kicking and screaming Cloud and Megan back to the rest of the group to explain it to them. Cloud put up quite a fuss about having to get off the carousel early but ultimately agreed.

"Ready guys?" Jackie asked as she dismounted her horse and walked to the edge of the carousel, the only thing preventing her from falling was the bar she had a tight grip on. The rest of the group quickly got in line next to her.

"Go!" KT said, as she made sure they were out of sight of the fan girls. They quickly stepped off and made sure to stay together as to not get spotted. One by one they hopped the fence until everyone was over.

"We all here?" Reno asked.

"No." Yazoo pointed out.

"Who are we missing?" Jackie asked.

"Two guesses." Kadaj said as he pointed back to the carousel. Cloud and Megan were still trying out all the different animals. KT made a sour face.

"I think Cloud is rubbing off on her." KT growled as she stomped up to the fence.

"Hey losers! We'd like to leave whenever you're ready." She called. Cloud saw her and waved.

"Come back later then. We're having fun." He smiled as he hopped on a rooster and prepared to go another revolution. Megan wasn't far behind and she was sitting on a dragon like thing.

"Megan…so help me god if I have to climb this fence and get you!" KT threatened. Megan pouted but climbed off the Dragon and quickly hopped off before being spotted by ride personnel. They had to wait for Cloud to come back around. Megan had to climb back on to forcibly drag him off the rabbit he was currently on. He pouted but jumped off and over the fence, followed by a suddenly serious Megan.

"Now lets blow this joint!" L-Dog said as he nodded his head to the far side of the carousel. Much to their dismay, they had been spotted and the straggling, die-hard fan girls were now running around the carousel to get to them.

"Run!" Reno cried as he took off. The rest of the group bolted and ran for the nearest exit.

They made it out of the mall in record time and ran to the cars. Megan who had regained possession of her keys from Loz, now chucked them at him. He caught them with ease and unlocked the car. Sephiroth did the same. Megan, Cloud, Kadaj, and Vincent quickly slid in before Loz locked the car doors. The others quickly slid into Jackie's small car and Sephiroth floored it in reverse before Jackie could fully close the door. L-Dog quickly followed and almost fish tailed as he tried to keep up with Sephiroth.

"Finally! We escaped those lunatics!" KT sighed with relief as she slumped against the seat.

"Yup. That was quite an adventure." Jackie agreed. She turned around to look out the rear window to make sure Loz was still following them. They most defiantly were and she could see that something very interesting was happening in the car. Loz looked very irritated as Cloud was reaching over the seat and smiling about something as he messed with Loz's hair. Vincent gazed at the scenery with a pleasant smile while Megan hunched over and held her face in her hands. Kadaj was reaching over her to try and pull Cloud back in his seat.

"Heh check it out! I'm glad I'm not in there." Jackie mused as she nudged KT and looked back at the insane car.

Sephiroth had just turned onto KT's street and Jackie and KT were both feeling relatively safer now that they were within feet of KT's house. However, that sense of security was quickly shattered when Sephiroth cursed and slammed on the breaks. But it wasn't quick enough and a loud clunk was heard as they plowed into something. The seatbelts restrained everyone except for KT who would have been hurled through the windshield if it hadn't been for Reno's arm that he had thrust across her out of instinct. She was a naughty girl and didn't wear her seatbelt.

Breaks squealed behind them and Sephiorth saw from the rearview mirror that Loz had to swerve sharply to avoid rear-ending them. They were all lucky that the road was not a busy one.

"What'd we go an' hit? Oh god is my baby ok?" Jackie screeched as she scrambled out the door and jogged to the front of her car. She quickly glanced at the front of her baby and saw that it was still dent free. She hugged the front of her car dramatically.

"What happened?" Kadaj wondered as he came over with the rest of the group in tow.

"Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln look at that!" Megan pointed.

"Is that…?" KT wondered aloud. She would have laughed if the entire situation weren't so ridiculous. After all, if game characters could come to life, why couldn't Chocobos?

"It's a freakin Chocobo!" Jackie declared. It was large, yellow, and currently sprawled out on the side of the road while feathers that had managed to be shaken loose blew around.

"We hit a Chocobo in front of my house! Why? Why does my house attract all the freaks?" KT pouted. Cloud, who had disappeared for a moment before was now back and poking the large bird with a stick.

"Is it dead?" Reno asked as he raised a brow. The Chocobo's large eye suddenly flew open and let out a large squawk. It began to flail and tried to stand. KT jumped a bit and quickly backed away while Megan shrieked and hid behind Sephiroth. There was a tornado of feathers as the Big Bird wannabe finally made it to its feet and tried to run. It made it to the yard before it collapsed of what appeared to be a broken leg. There was probably some internal bleeding as well that contributed. The entire group watched in morbid fascination as the pterodactyl lay there pathetically, trying to catch its breath. It gave a few bleak cries before its entire chest stopped moving and the entire area was left in eerie silence.

"That sure put a damper on things." Vincent murmured. Cloud grabbed his stick again and hiked up the lawn to the beast. He poked it a few times before turning and shouting to the group.

"It's dead! Let's eat it!" the rest of the group approached it and formed a circle.

"What DO we do with it?" KT asked as she absentmindedly nudged the large tri-toed foot.

"Eat it!" Cloud smiled.

"Don't be crazy."

"Chocobos do hold a lot of nutritional value." Yazoo commented. The girls looked at him like he just kicked a puppy.

"Guys come on. We're not seriously considering eating a Chocobo are we?" KT laughed nervously, "Guys?"

"Waste not, want not." L-Dog said with a shrug.

"And how do you propose we go about doing this which I still say we're not?"

"I know a good lemon chicken recipe. Nice n' tangy. Or we could use sweet and sour sauce." Sephiroth volunteered.

"Do Chocobo's taste like chicken?" Megan asked.

"They're like the ultimate free range chicken!" Kadaj smirked. Don't let KFC's dude hear that. He'll come after it and we don't want that!

"Is this seriously…like…a regular practice back on Gaia?" KT asked, not believing that she was about to let this freak show continue. The guys all shrugged. KT wasn't sure how to take that.

"How are you gonna cook that thing?" Jackie asked. Sephiroth smirked and his face took on a look of almost pure evil.

"Just leave it to me."

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**Jeez...a year? Sorry guys! Provide me with any random ideas that you would like to see for this story. They'res a guy sleeping in class right now...he's snoring...its kinda funny.**

**It's been snowing out...i shouldnt be surprised. I love winter its just the freezingness that im not a fan of. **

**Thought one of them lapsed didn't ya?! HAHA FOOLED YOU! **


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